Hey, consumers! Do you like driving a car, but just wish it was more like getting your rock-hard priapism drained by a surgeon? WELL THEN, HYUNDAI MIGHT BE THE CAR FOR YOU.

Fresh from the ne'erending font of wonder known as "local advertising," this Hyundai commercial (embedded above) tells the tale of one very satisfied Hyundai driver. (SATISFIED LIKE IN THE PENIS WAY.) Take it away, AdWeek:

In a world brimming with cheesy auto-dealer ads, it takes a special skill to produce something that's noticeably extra wretched. For that, we turn to Leader Auto Group, which owns several Hyundai and Mazda dealerships in the New York area. Its latest spot, for Long Island City Hyundai in Queens, unfolds like a medical drama—based aorund that old comedy chestnut of the four-hour erection. The idea, the script (Doctor: "He's just been holding it like that?" Wife: "Yes! With both hands!") and the acting all get high marks for lowbrow humor.

Indeed. Because nothing says "buy our cars" like "my penis is broken."