Is it Douchebag Awareness month again? Already? Time sure does fly!
Apparently unshaken by that time their "Motorboating for Breast Cancer" shenanigans ended up getting their charitable donation rejected, the trio of pickup artists/metastatic douchebags known as Simple Pickup just posted a video to the web wherein they convince women to ride a sex toy in public, on camera. In exchange, they tell the women that for every second they're able to stay mounted on the vibrating sex saddle, the trio of creepy scamps will donate a small amount of money to The Orchid Project, and anti-female circumcision charity.
It's hard to pick the video's most cringe-worthy moment. It might be when the bros ask women if they've ever heard of Female Genital Mutilation (yes, dudes. Just because you only learned about it last week doesn't mean that most people don't know what FGM is). It might be the jaunty music juxtaposed with the idea of FGM. Or when one of the video's participants has an orgasm on the sex saddle and the Simple Pickup Guys just giggle and giggle and giggle. We're having such fun fighting for the sliced off clitorises of girls in North Africa and Asia and the Middle East and sometimes Eastern Europe!
Last fall, Simple Pickup defended their Motorboating For Cancer video by saying they were raising money and awareness for Breast Cancer, as though there are people in America who didn't know what breast cancer was or that they could contribute money to fight it until they saw some pickup artists put their faces into women's cleavage on YouTube. The organization they were going to contribute the proceeds to rejected their money. All that motorboating for naught. We'll always have the Awareness, right guys?
But as long as asking people to do sex-stuff on camera in public probably for my own enjoyment is okay as long as it's "for charity" — Would any of them eat my asshole in front of their mothers in exchange for a $1000 donation to an organization that vaccinates children in third world countries against polio? It's for charity! How about giving an anonymous male stranger a hand job through a curtain in exchange for me giving $500 to an anti-AIDS charity? Would they let a monkey perform a prostate exam on them if I promised to donate a sizable amount to a prostate cancer charity?
Come on, guys! Lighten up! I'm just raising awareness!