Does Anyone Believe Lindsay Lohan Snorted Coke Only 10 Times?

Last night Lindsay Lohan made the 13th step in her road to recovery: a sit-down with Oprah. Naturally, with this being her sixth stint in rehab in as many years, it’s going to be a tougher sell to convince people that this time is different—especially when she’s claiming that she’s only used cocaine “10 or 15 times.”

Working an orange monochromatic look, Lohan appeared to be a little more humble and candid than previous post-rehab apology tours. This time, at least, she admitted she’s an addict and that she didn’t take her earlier court-ordered rehab programs seriously. She was also using some of her recovery lingo, talking about “surrendering to the process” and such.

But part of that process is “rigorous honesty,” which is really hard to achieve when one is lying through one’s veneers. Oprah mentioned that she’s read somewhere that Lohan had said she’d only done cocaine three or four times. Lohan admitted that she’d lied about that because she was “terrified of being judged.” So she said that the truth is that she’d only snorted cocaine “like 10 or 15 times.”

Look, LiLo is under no obligation to include the entire world in her recovery process. But she did. And then she lied. And the thing about her lying like that is that it’s offensive. Not because she owes us an apology—she doesn’t owe us anything. It’s offensive because in order to believe her, we’d have to all be stupid idiots, which is apparently what she thinks we are.

Does this girl not realize that there are probably a dozen documented instances of her cocaine use? Like when she was filmed snorting coke off the toilet at Teddy’s in 2007, or when she was arrested for possession three months later, or when she was photographed next to some lines in 2010. If you do a Google image search of “Lindsay Lohan cocaine,” it returns a plethora of images from throughout the years of white powder residue in her nostrils.

So thanks for opening up and all, but don’t pee on our legs and tell us it’s raining.