There was absolutely nothing good about the announcement that certified awful person George Zimmerman (no celebrity bold for you!) would appear on an episode of Celebrity Boxing to square off against rapper DMX (on what would have been Trayvon Martin's 19th birthday, no less). This news was actually so not good that for a second I was certain it was an Onion headline. (It wasn't.) From the fight itself, to the date, to DMX's promise to beat the shit out of and then urinate all over Zimmerman's face, it was bad news all around. Now, it appears that the fight will likely not be happening.
"The boxing match between George Zimmerman and DMX is not officially confirmed. DMX has promised to 'beat his ass,' but no contract or paperwork has been signed or agreed to yet," the rapper's spokesman Domenick Nati wrote in an email Thursday.
"DMX will release an official statement if and when an agreement is made," the statement continued.
When flat out asked if the fight will happen, Nati replied, "I doubt it."
Regardless of whether the fight actually happens, it is already worse than the time Michael Lohan fought Jeremy Loper. Speaking of Lohan, he has also allegedly volunteered to fight Zimmerman. Obviously for justice and not publicity. [LA Times]
Charlie Sheen and Ashton Kutcher may be in a feud (who is not feuding these days? how soon before this pair appears on Celebrity boxing: Winning?) after Kutcher invited Sheen to "shut the BLEEP up" and stop blowing up his Twitter during Kutcher's appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. (I had no idea what this was in reference to, but it appears to have something to do with that show where Kutcher and Duckie raise Andie Walsh's child.) (#Prettyinpink)
Sheen responded with an actually reasonable message that looks like it came directly from Cher's twitter:
Ashton message received. so sorry u sounded like me! well done! my bad I was pissed at other crap & took it out on you. hope u r good xox c
Of course then Sheen realized who he was and filed an addendum to his previous missive:
but news flash Dood, you ever tell me to shut the F*** up, EVER again, and I'll put you on a hospital food diet for a year. c #YaFeelMe Jr?
The best part is that Sheen censored his expletive. Because, you know, there may be children reading. [The Superficial]
- LeAnn Rimes wore a bikini and ate a sandwich which looked delicious. I will never not report a delicious sandwich. [Us]
- MTV has named Bill Murray their sexiest man alive. Upon hearing the news, Murray just stared blankly at the camera and then wandered away awkwardly. [MTV]
- Leonard Nimoy has revealed he is suffering from COPD and has made an appeal to fans to stop smoking. [UpRoxx]
- Kate Mara doesn't want to be defined by her hair color, will now just be defined by being Rooney Mara's sister.[People]
- Here are another 20+ photos of Gwen Stefani on her way to acupuncture. She must be committing a lot of crimes to need this many alibis. Also: who is following Gwen Stefani to acupuncture? What kind of questions would the paparazzi ask? "Yo, Gwen! Can we get a quote? Does it hurt? I'm asking for a friend!" [JustJared]
- Angelina Jolie is apparently hooked on ancient grains such as quinoa and spelt. Doesn't just reading the word quinoa make your mouth go dry and chalky? [Celebitchy]
- Ashanti has expressed interest in appearing on a reality TV show as long as the pay is good. Should we set up a KickStarter? [HipHollywood]
- Britney Spears' microphone malfunctioned during a show. Spears didn't stop the show, however, because she is a consummate performer and because you know that mic wasn't switched on in the first place. I cannot wait to see her show, you guys! Two months! [E!]
- If you were expecting new content from Farrah Abraham's (completely accidental) porn sequel, you are going to be criminally disappointed. Abraham didn't shoot any new scenes for this video which will amount to just a DVD full of "extras." [Dlisted]
- NBC has painted over the billboard of Jay Leno's face on the side of the building in which he taped. Gone and already forgotten. [TMZ]
- James Franco and Seth Rogen are making a film about The Room, the best worst film you've ever seen. (Honorary mention to Cabin Boy.) [ONTD]
- Happy Saturday! Molly Ringwald gifs are the gifs that keep on giving:
Lead image via Getty