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New York Republicans who would like to unseat Democrat Kirsten Gillibrand thought they'd found their knight in wire-rimmed armor in entrepreneur Marc Cenedella. He had the youth, the vigor, the tough talk... the bizarre blog that trafficked in sexism, drug references, and unfunny jokes about Omarosa's wearing a banana hammock. More »
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You know what's boring? Peeing standing up! We ladies wouldn't know this, but it's the worst— nothing to do but stare at the wall in front of you for the 10-30 seconds that it takes to urinate. Luckily, Sega has developed a solution for this pervasive problem and that solution, no duh, is video games for urinals. These games, which cost a mere two grand, use the accuracy of a man's pee stream for all sorts of fun stuff like shooting virtual "snot" at an opponent and controlling the amount that a woman's skirt flies up. It's number one in fun! More »
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Fratastic "comedian" Dane Cook showed up at The Laugh Factory in Los Angeles last night to perform a most unexpected set. What a potentially unpleasant surprise! Famous comics — a label that really pains one to use in regards to Cook, but he was in some crappy movies — are known to drop in at clubs at random, usually bumping some of the night's scheduled performers to try out new material. And that is what happened last night. Here, according to various witnesses, are some choice snippets from his set: More »
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After a 21-year-old Iranian man had Persian script reading "good luck on your journeys" and the first initial of his girlfriend's last name tattooed onto his peen he was left with a permanent semi, according to the most recent Journal of Sexual Medicine. Doctors explain that the traditional handheld needle that was used for the tattoo punctured holes that were too deep "that damaged vessels in the penis, resulting in fistulas, and then a pseudoaneurysm, a pooling of blood outside a vessel wall." The young man tried having shunt procedure performed, but it didn't work to relieve the swelling. He's since rejected any more treatment because he's probably realized that the side effect of the tattoo was that his dick looks bigger all the time. But it probably took him so long to come to that realization due to all the blood draining from his head. More »
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Apparently there's quite a bit of misinformation about penis size on the interent. Larry Harris, Jr. writes, "Men do not know what they are packing, and women do not know what to expect. None of us really have realistic expectations." It's accompanied by this (slightly old) chart, which informs us that "most women's 'ideal' penis is longer and wider than 98 percent of all men." More at the link! More »
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Urologists can't afford to giggle like 7th graders every time someone brings up balls, but recently Canadian doctors spotted something too incredible to ignore: A man's face in an ultrasound of a patient's testicular tumor. More »
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Everyone's favorite animated news service, NMA TV, reports that an all-male sauna in Taipei is attempting to attract clients with large penises. Men whose members measure over 18 cm (7.1 inches) long or 1.96 inches in girth can enter (heh) for free. According to the report, dudes of this size get VIP cards, and there's a "Big Bird" party for all the big swinging dicks, during which dudes walk around naked and check each other out. We highly doubt that there was a banana sword fight in the sauna, but that didn't stop NMA from illustrating one. More »
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We withheld it until you'd had your lunch, but can't wait for you to finish digesting before sharing this mess. Like flashing back to that teen acid trip that went awry — with a dull, repetitive beat to match — the video for Duck Sauce's latest track "Big Bad Wolf" looks like a directorial collaboration between Spike Jonze and Beelzebub himself. For those of you unaware of the Duck Sauce oeuvre, they're the duo behind the soul-destroying "Barbara Streisand," which ensured tweens everywhere now know her name yet nothing of who she is. And they're also the guys wedged between these other dudes' legs. The new clip begs many questions: Who are the biggest creepers, the little heads or their hosts? Why does that guy put hair product on his mini-me? Are these really sentences? Is this real life? All we know at this stage is that it's safe to say everyone is afraid of the big bad wolf. More »
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When a man cheats on his wife it might break more than just her heart—it might also break his penis. Yes, a new study has found that having sex outside your marriage increases your chance of having a penile fracture AKA a broken dick. It's tempting to think of this as some sort of sweet revenge offered up by Mother Nature, but in fact extramarital sex is more dangerous simply because it usually takes place in "out-of-the-norm circumstances," according to the study's author urologist Dr. Andrew Kramer. More »
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You know what they say: What's good for the goose is good for the gander. We often examine the weird things available for enhancing or showing off the female anatomy, but turnabout is fair play. So, in the spirit of bizarre thingamabobs for boobs, we hereby present a crazy collection of cock contraptions. Penis paraphernalia. Dick devices. Gadgets for the gonads. If it's designed to cover, display or sheath the phallus, it's here. So incredibly not safe for work its not even funny. Are you ready? More »
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No, kids, there is not a bone in your penis. However, bones may have unexpected effects on male fertility. More »
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Travis Keen was arrested on an obscenity charge earlier this week. A witness called the cops, reporting that a man was driving a Ford Taurus around the Walmart parking lot "with his penis exposed." When an officer stopped Keen, he admitted that he did, in fact, have his dick out of his pants. More »
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Yesterday was Anthony Weiner's first day of unemployment, and the former congressman was back in the spotlight as he stepped out in his Queens, NY neighborhood and was snapped by a photographer. The pictures, which are so obviously staged and posed, show Weiner in jeans and a dress shirt — sleeves rolled up — buying flowers. A simple task, but a calculated attempt at manipulating and controlling his public image. More »
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Happy Friday morning, everyone! More »
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Whether it appears on a movie screen, in a magazine, or on a porn site, the naked female body is almost always meant to be titillating. So how come naked dudes are so often meant to be funny? More »
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We often use critters to describe sex. He's a tiger in the sack. She's a hellcat in bed. They were fucking like bunnies. And the penis is often called a trousersnake, or a one-eyed worm. But is there anything sexy about eagles? More »
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I've got a big penis. This is my tale of woe. More »
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You already know that everything under the sun is available as Internet porn. But in a new book, two scientists investigate what our online porn searches say about human sexuality. Their work isn't without its problems, but they turn up some pretty interesting data on age, body size — and dicks. More »
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Guys, it appears that you can increase the length of your penis — if you want to stick it in a special penis-stretcher for about 700 hours, that is. More »
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Just what we needed! A guide to finding the biggest dicks. Size queens, book your tickets to Congo and Ecuador. Check out a larger (heh) version here. More »
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It's not every day you read an article regarding a medical journal and penile size research that includes the words "farm-fed beef." Thank Zeus today is that day. More »
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One of our readers was at an Ani DiFranco concert when a, um, suitor slipped her this note. Wrong venue, dude. More »
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• Here is a fairly convincing argument for male circumcision: It may help prevent penis injuries. Circumcised men are less likely to experience minor injuries during sex, says a recent study. More »
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Ever wondered why the Snuggie took off and the Slanket didn't? The parent company claims it's because Snuggies are cheaper, but we suspect it actually had more to do with the commercial and the resulting parodies (NSFW). [TheStreet, BuzzFeed] More »
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The headline says it all. More »
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This strap-on is the epitome of fashion over function, in that it always remains soft. [Buzzfeed] More »
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It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the "advice column" in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this episode, Rich and I got help from our pal Sasha Frere-Jones again, to tackle problems like leaky vaginas, syphilis, and boyfriends who drool during oral sex. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.) More »
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• Being a tool just got harder: Florida may fine drivers with truck nuts. • EHarmony ditches one-night stand advice after super-prudes protest. • Pervy dude peeps on roommate using teddy bear camera. • Superstitious Congolese police arrest suspected "penis snatchers"; men must find new excuse for small dicks. • Pasha Grishuk, a former Olympic figure skater, was slipped GHB in hotel bar. • Is schoolyard sexual harassment is more harmful than bullying? • Yet another teenage girl commits suicide after being bullied. • Domestic violence is associated with chronic malnutrition in India. • Indian-Americans use email to get to know future spouses in arranged marriages. • Duh: TMZ uses exciting headlines to get hits on banal videos. • Earth Day = Forced Abortion and Sterilization Day? • Women nurse pain after a break-up by selling jewelry from ex-boyfriends for cash. • Fliering an ex's town accusing her of giving you herpes is a-ok in Florida, as long as the allegations are true. More »
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In this very special 420 episode of Pot Psychology, Rich and I are joined by a magical guest: Jambi the genie! (A virtuoso portrayal by StreetCarnage.com's Gavin McInnes.) He gave us aid(s) in tackling life's everyday issues, including dildo chew toys for dogs, Mormon weddings and large black cocks. Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)
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It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Note: Pot Psychology will appear on Fridays, not Thursdays, from now on.) In this episode, the wind beneath my wings, Rich, and I pull a Tyra and offer up a clip show of never-before-seen footage and unanswered questions on topics like weird-tasting breasts, phone sex, and avoiding people you don't like. Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.) More »
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"I wanted to fit into American culture. When you're circumcised, there's less rejection from women," says one man to the Los Angeles Times. Once again, the topic of adult circumcision is on people's, er, lips and a new study basically concludes that circumcised guys experience just as much sexual satisfaction as uncircumcised ones. But apparently dick status anxiety still abounds. Seriously: Is any lady rejecting a guy because he has a turtleneck? We simply refuse to believe ladies are kicking dudes out of bed when they see that their penises come wrapped up, too. [LATimes] More »
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If making a chocolate penis seems like too much work (and it is), you can buy these Chocolate Party Hats that you can sit atop a peen to spice up a beej. [Chocolate Party Hats] More »
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Here's some throw pillows that would go great with that vagina couch that was on sale on Craigslist. These crocheted Penis Cushions are made to order for $25 each. [Etsy] More »
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