http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png http://jezebel.com/tag/dick morris http://jezebel.com/tag/dick morris

It used to be that this venerable feature was inspired by the news, hangovers, and/or funny pictures. But The Huffington Post's Jason Linkins and I have a new muse — or, to be fair, a couple of million of new muses harmed in the filming of SNL's digital short "Jizz In My Pants" (embedded after the jump). There's just no way to look at the news about torture, wire-tapping, Bush kissing Barbra Streisand, Ed Rendell or Kate Beckinsale any other way after seeing that video. Today's Hour also contains an object lesson for one of my best friends, who should have known better than to tell me his pants-jizzing story 10 years ago because there was no way I was going to forget it. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5104067&view=rss&microfeed=true

Seventy five thousand people showed up to see Obama's biggest yet speech in Portland, Oregon yesterday. Firstly, that represents something like one-seventh the entire population of Portland and undoubtedly the biggest-ever congregation of fixed-gear bicycles. In fact, the crowd was bigger than pretty much any outdoor rock concert including Burning Man (though not including the Stones at Altamont Speedway) and it was in a city, a city we can only imagine smells kind of awful right now, if only because the coffee in Portland lends itself to really foul shits. Anyway, a friend of mine used to call Portland "White People Gone Wild." It is not such a terrible shock this crowd digs Obama. So as this woeful chapter in our nation's history concludes I can only hope the WPGW contingent will stop saying ludicrous things like the election of John McCain would be "eight more years" of Bush. To say such a thing cheapens the trauma of the World's Worst Presidency and further tries our almost thoroughly bankrupt national capacity for nuance, a capacity Obama is trying to restore. That and lots more with Megan and I, after the jump. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=391629&view=rss&microfeed=true

Christmas came early Sunday with an epic defense of Clintonism in the New York Times Magazine. You know, that style of politics defined by that foot fetishist Republican pollster who secretly plotted Clinton's 1996 victory while spilling all those Martian secrets so he could get some hooker to let him suck her toes? What was that guy's name, Dick... Dick Morris! Remember him? Well, good, because the story only mentions him once in a whole 10,000 words, which is soooooo much less credit than he deserves for, at the very least, giving me and Megan something to talk about besides having to go to church and move the car and subject ourselves to Redskins games and, oh yeah, work on motherfucking Christmas Eve. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=337314&view=rss&microfeed=true