Deranged Psychopaths Kick Squirrel 6,000 Feet Down Into Grand Canyon

It appears that the pastoral splendor of one of nature's more delightful wonders was not enough for two men who visited the Grand Canyon over the weekend. Instead of taking selfies, the men did something much more fun. They kicked a squirrel off the edge and posted videos. Who are these charmers, and can I get a date?

It's difficult to write this without getting into ALL CAPS and FUCKING SWEARS, but I'm going to try to give you the facts as they've been reported without exploding all over the place or resorting to the kind of language that would embarrass everyone here. Oh, god, there are quotes. Here's what happened, according to The Huffington Post:

Grand Canyon National Park officials are investigating a YouTube video posted over the weekend that appears to show a man luring a squirrel to the edge of a cliff and kicking it into the canyon below.

The video — which was quickly taken down and then republished by other users — shows two French-speaking men wearing boxer shorts and cowboy hats, laughing as they lead the animal to the edge of the canyon. One of the men puts on a shoe and kicks the animal, launching it off the cliff.

In what universe would someone even think to do something like this? You're on vacation, enjoying your day, and you see a squirrel? You try to pet it or feed it or talk to it. What you don't do is lure it to the edge of a cliff while laughing and joyfully speaking French and then kick the poor animal off into an abyss. The Grand Canyons is 6,000 feet high. Can you imagine the animal's fear as well as the pain it felt? Was there no one around to stop this? Jesus, these guys didn't just do this on impulse. They lured the animal towards the edge and one taped while the other kicked. There's got to be a special place in hell for people who do these types of things.

Unfortunately, that special place in hell is all that we can hope for at the moment, because officials say that aside from knowing where the cruelty happened, it will be basically impossible to find the men who are responsible. While authorities are working with YouTube to find more information, it's unlikely the men will be found or face charges.

Image via YouTube