dELiA*s Is Coming Back, But You Still Can't Escape Death :)

dELiA*s, the teen girl clothing retailer that provided catalogs worth of aspirational outfits for young women to pore over in the nineties and early aughts, has begun rolling out details about their highly anticipated August 6 bounce-back from bankruptcy. Don’t let this win for nostalgia lull you into a false sense of comfort, though: While the hallmarks of your youth remain, the steady march towards death continues apace.

🙂

New dELiA*s (like the old dELiA*s) will sell teen wardrobe staples like party dresses, jeans, and novelty t-shirts, which are, as dELiA*s EVP and chief merchandising officer Patricia Johnson tells Refinery 29, “key categories dELiA*s has been known for in the past.”

Also from R29:

The dELiA*s customer of 2015 is expected to be “a young girl, but not too young,” Johnson says, though she wouldn’t give a specific age range. “There’s such a void for a true junior business. Where do go as a real teenager, instead of jumping from The Children’s Place to H&M and Forever 21 — or, as I call it, Forever 41, [places that] moms and daughters can both shop? Where is that in-between for true young teenagers?”

Enjoy your shopping at Forever 41 (a.k.a the COFFIN STORE), you old crones. dELiA*s isn’t for you anymore. (By the way, do you have a will? It is never too early to write one.)

If you’re still interested in trying to capture your youth (remember: you can’t!), here are the dELiA*s details (dETAiLiAs):

Sizes will range from 00 to 13, and price points include $19.90 for graphic tees, $49 for denim, and $59.90 to $79.90 for party dresses.

All these years later and they still can’t provide for a size 14+. See? Some things really are forever.