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Magniloquent human fart Newt Gingrich has risen like hot air to the top of the polls in the race for the Republican Presidential nomination. People who get paid to talk about politics on the teevee say that this is due to his debate performances. But now, Newt says that unless the audience is allowed to cheer after all the fire he spits, he's going to refuse to show up for debates, take his ball, and go home. You show 'em, Newt. More »
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What happens when you take one delusional nostalgia-peddler in a twinset, one accomplished young female journalist, and one public radio host, mix in a few splashes of princess culture, a liberal application of slut-shaming, a twist of incoherence, and a backhanded, condescending ad hominem attack? You get a matronly lecture from the fuzzy mind of Caitlin Flanagan, who warns radio listeners that unless they're careful parents, their daughters might end up like Salon writer Irin Carmon. More »
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So far Sarah Palin has yet to cast her lot behind any of the Republican primary candidates and issue an endorsement, but yesterday while appearing on Fox News she did come awfully close to giving Newt Gingrich her support. It's not because she necessarily thinks he'd make the best president—it's simply because a vote for him keeps the primary contest going, and she thinks that is the most valuable thing we can have right now. Anyway, here's what she said when pressed for her endorsement: More »
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On Saturday, Republican Presidential hopefuls reconvened to debate foreign policy and tell America that they're the least-bad choice to lead the free world. America's Foremost Expert on Question Avoiding Michele Bachmann claims that she wasn't given enough questions during the debate, and that this was a planned effort on the part of debate organizers to suppress her. And for once, she's not totally wrong. More »
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Sweden became the first country to outlaw physical punishment of children in 1979. Now, the first generation of Swedish young adults to have been raised in a spanking-free society is in its thirties. Contrary to what your cantankerous, defensive grandpa might suggest, the entire country hasn't turned into a bunch of spoiled namby pamby brats. But would similar anti-spanking laws ever fly stateside? More »
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Last night, Republican presidential hopefuls got the band back together again for another debate reunion tour, and like most bands whose best albums are behind them, the old familiar songs just didn't sound the same. Chords were off. Rick Perry forgot the words. Mitt Romney experienced a hair gel malfunction unbefitting of a lead guitarist. And Herman Cain slipped and fell on a pair of panties a fan threw onto the stage. Let's take a look at the moments that will lend themselves best to tragic voiced over segments on future episodes of Behind the Music. More »
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California's gubernatorial race has momentarily shifted from Brown vs. Whitman to slur vs. slur. Go go Oppression Olympics! More »
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In what I would venture is a deliberately inflammatory firebomb, one mom, "Maia," writes on Feministe: "i thought that maybe some feminists could use a refresher course, a reminder, that kids are people. shorter, cuter, more honest people." Go on! More »
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Gretchen Voss, whose eloquence about her own late term abortion inspired a lot of thought in our earlier post about McCain and women's "health," was watching the debates last night, too. She said, "Know where I was when that freaking maniac said that I—and all women—were invisible and meaningless? Sitting in the emergency room, snuggling up my 4-year old son who had bashed his head open earlier in the night with the babysitter and needed stitches. When he spit those words out, all the nurses started screaming at the TV. I started crying." An update to her story can be found here. [Boston Globe, Marie Claire, photo via Guacamoley] More »
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While few people think that John McCain did himself any great favors with last night's blink-and-Plumber-filled debate performance, there are nonetheless a few things for Spencer "Cavalier Activity Machine" Ackerman and I to wonder about. Things like whether we can have a substantive discussion of Obama's idea of cavalier activity, what Joe The Plumber would do with all the extra money he won't have to pay in taxes and when the fuck McCain embraced the Culture of Life so hard he messed up his face. More »
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With the final debate finally upon us, I would like to take a moment to thank some people. I would like to thank Barack Obama for refusing to do John McCain's long-desired set of town hall meetings this summer, thus saving me from having to watch them. Thanks to his recalcitrance, I got to leave my house this summer and see actual sunlight and it was good! And thanks to John McCain, for being condescending and stuff during the debates, which made it ever-so-slightly less uninteresting to hear him both regurgitate pre-approved, soundbite-y talking points on the issues. Anyway, so, cheers to the last debate! The election's less than three weeks away, Obama's supposedly winning, Republicans are getting antsy and I'm getting slightly intoxicated in celebration of the fact that someone I know has a DVR to allow me to watch Project Runway when this is all over. I'll be joining you guys after the jump when the camera cuts awkwardly away to the debate hall, but feel free to get started without me! More »
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• P.U.M.A. hunter Katie Halper put together a campaign commercial for John McCain so that his female supporters all understand what they're voting for — including unequal pay, a lack of reproductive choice and half-assed health insurance coverage. Politics starts at home, ladies. [Katie Halper]
• Actual McCain staffers and Sarah Palin are trying to convince John McCain to open up Wright debate again because — as Sarah said yesterday — they've got nothing to lose. McCain, however, still likes his dignity some, so they're sneaking around behind his back to find other people to fund it. [Politico, CBS]
• Yes, of course, Obama is totally prepped to talk about Ayers tonight. He's probably prepped to talk about Wright, too, if it comes to that. [Chicago Tribune]
• McCain's been prepping, too, if this leaked debate prep video is anything to go by. Join in on my liveblog (thread starts at 7:30 ET, I start blogging at 9:00 ET) to see if he takes any of their advice! [The Jed Report]

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The election might still be 20 interminable days off, but the last debate will be (liveblogged) tonight. McCain has promised both to "whip" his opponent tonight, and to bring up Bill Ayers. Will Obama have an answer? Can Bill O'Reilly get more absurd? Can the poll numbers get better for Obama? Will John McCain be "unshackled"? Spencer Ackerman attempt to answer those questions as I attempt to scrub certain Spencer-supplied mental images from my brain. Anyone got some bleach? More »
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• Less than a month until the election, folks, and it's getting really ugly.
• John McCain sounding like a total loon during the debates, calling Obama "That One": ugly.
• Illogical republican strategists yelling at Newsweek for putting a (gasp!) un-retouched photo of Sarah Palin on the cover: ugly!
• Nikki Blonsky kicking Bianca Golden's mom in the vagina at an airport: ugly!
• At least we have the unarguably awesome Sarah Vowell and Donna Brazile to guide us through the ugliness.
• Though they can't really fix the ugly in this mess of the economy... or this Free People catalog.

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The end of the election (we hope) is four weeks off, and the debates are in the home stretch now. With expectations high for John McCain's performance in his preferred format, everyone's wondering if the old white guy is going to be cleaning house tonight. But are expectations too high for McCain's performance? It has, after all, been a while since one of his town halls was filled with anyone other than ass-kissers and sycophantic Republicans. After this week of being crabby and attacking Barack Obama, does McCain even want to rein it in and act like something other than an embittered jerk who knows he's losing? Only time will tell. While I'm off securing dinner and the appropriate quantity of alcohol to get me through the rest of the night, talk (and drink) amongst yourselves. I'll be back just before they are. More »
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As the sun rises on the debate day but sets on John McCain, one is forced to wonder: where are the racists at? And, it turns out they're at McCain-Palin rallies! Swampland's Ana Marie Cox and I aren't surprised, any more than we're surprised that Dick Morris still sucks hooker's toes, and Todd Palin might be "borrowing" Sarah's underwear. Oh, and John McCain is probably losing and wants people the fuck off his lawn, you cunt. More »
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In case you missed it, during last night's debate, Sarah Palin mentioned that Joe Biden had talked about drilling as "raping our intercontinental shelf." While I thought it was just poorly timed, given all the flak she's taken about forcing rape victims and their insurance companies to pay for forensic rape examinations, Ben Smith at Politico and Michael Crowley at The New Republic point out that it was actually a subtle attempt to associate Joe Biden in voters' minds with the word "rape." Ew. Also, why is it that of all the questions Gwen Ifill asked last night, the rape kit controversy wasn't one of them? [Politico, The New Republic] More »
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You know that feeling, the morning after, when you look back and regret things from the night before? Things like, say, winking at America in lieu of making any substantive statements on mortgages so that you could keep hammering on how awesome you are at energy policy? Ms. Palin, if you wanted to be Energy Secretary, I'm assuming you could've mentioned that to McCain a little earlier and allowed him to talk to Christine Todd Whitman or Olympia Snowe or Kay Bailey Hutchison . But Kay Steiger of Pushback and I don't have designs on the Vice Presidency or a Cabinet position, so we're free to actually about, you know, the issues. Like what your hype man ought to play after you tell someone to go fuck himself and why McCain's health care policy sucks ass for the Joe Sixpack you want to represent. That's right, this morning, we're wonking out with our... well, you know what would be hanging out if we had 'em. More »
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John McCain and his minions did what they could — engineering the financial crisis through two decades of orgiastic deregulation, timed to allow John McCain to indefinitely postpone Sarah Palins debut-cle, throwing Gwen Ifill down the Exorcist steps in Georgetown, throwing the race card down when that didn't work — but the moment is finally (almost) upon us. Sarah Palin (and Joe Biden, like anyone's remembered him anyway) will step out on the stage at 9:00 ET tonight, and this live-blog will begin in earnest. Neither snow, nor rain, not heat, nor gloom of night will keep me from my appointed rounds — though a lack of alcohol might [I'm going out now to get the booze, Megan. -Ed.] , so while you guys cavort in the comment threads, I'll be getting dinner, padding my stomach and stretching my already-cramped fingers and meeting you back here then. Keep it as warm at the Palins' marital bed during an Alaskan winter for me while I'm gone! UPDATE: Oh, it's on. More »
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Oh, did you hear? Sarah Palin will be in a debate tomorrow! Against, um, well, some guy. John? Jim? Oh, right, Joe Biden. With the relentless coverage of Palin's debate style and tactics from the media, you could be forgiven for forgetting that there will actually be someone else on stage with her besides Liberal Attack Dog Gwen Ifill. The LA Times would like everyone to know that they shouldn't underestimate Palin, while the Washington Post thinks she's disarmingly cute. Politico thinks it's all about her accent and the Wall Street Journal just calls her "formidable," which is laughable. Only the New York Times has the wherewithal to take on both candidates, noting that Biden can't shut up and Palin can be a little vague. Ya think? Do we have to do everything for the media? After the jump, the 10 things you actually need to know about the candidates before they debate. More »
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• McCain suggested he might suspend his campaign again so that he can really broker a bailout plan to save the country and be a hero... and we all know how well that worked out the last time. [The Nation]
• An actuarial company has predicted that McCain has a 25 percent chance of dying in office his second term, which is why Sarah Palin is cracking jokes about Joe Biden's age and asked people whether they want "the new energy, the new face, the new ideas" in the White House in her new interview with Katie Couric. [MSNBC, Politico]
• By the way, despite the fact that Republican leaders initially claimed it was Pelosi's partisan speech that caused Republicans to vote against the bailout plan — a stance mocked by no less than Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann and Rush Limbaugh — it turns out that it was actually Newt Gingrich's fault! He ginned up opposition to the bill to test the waters for a 2012 Presidential run before releasing a tepid statement of support while the Members he conned voted his will in the floor. Dick. [Huffington Post, Huffington Post, Politico, Huffington Post]
• The Republican strategy to win in Ohio — as in Michigan before that — remains to disenfranchise new, poor and minority voters. For real. It's easier than winning based on your candidate or the issues, apparently. [MSNBC, Michigan Messenger]

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• That compromise bailout plan intended to save the economy? Yeah, it failed. [Washington Post]
• The Dow proceeded to drop 778 points, the largest one-day loss in nearly 2 decades. Many people just kissed their asses and life savings goodbye. [Washington Post]
• Republicans blame Nancy Pelosi for giving an offensive speech before the vote, which included partisan remarks like recognizing that Bush inherited surpluses and now the economy sucks. [Politico, Swampland]
• Barney Frank responded to those criticisms thusly: "Because somebody hurt their feelings, they decide to punish the country." Fucking crybabies. [Huffington Post]

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The McCain campaign, led by Nancy Pfotenhauer Pfuckingsucks, started its war of expectation management today by attacking the moderator of this Thursday's VP debate, PBS' Gwen Ifill. Pfuckingsucks told Fox & Friends Steve Doocy that "normally, in Vice Presidential debates, you see a more even-handed approach" to picking questions about foreign and domestic policy. Oh really? Let's check that out. More »
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• John McCain will be debating after all tonight in Mississippi, and I'll be live-blogging it at 9:00 ET to help you get through it. [Washington Post]
• As the ad indicates, McCain started declaring victory in the debate right about the same time he decided to attend it. Talk about lowered expectations. [CNN]
• Everyone from his former adviser Craig Shirley to his former opponent Mike Huckabee thinks McCain fucked this up. Ya think? [Huffington Post, CNN]
• Aides to Sarah Palin are defying subpoenas issued in response to the troopergate probe of the Alaska governor; seven of them simply didn't appear in court today. Is anyone surprised?

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• Congressional lawmakers came to terms on the bailout package today, several hours before John McCain got done giving his Clinton Global Initiative speech and arrived on the Hill to rescue the American economy. [NY Times]
• That doesn't mean he's going to be at the debate tomorrow, of course. There might be something else he could rescue for the good of the nation instead of sucking it up and debating Obama, he's sure. [NY Times]
• Mississippi's Republican governor, Haley Barbour, says they're all systems go for a debate. Obama plans to have a townhall meeting without McCain if McCain is too much of a coward to debate him. [CNN, Huffington Post]
• By the way, McCain's "suspension" saved his campaign $1 million in ads and generated a shitload of earned media. It also didn't stop him from campaigning. [Huffington Post, Huffington Post]

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I caught the HBO documentary Resolved the other night and was totally fascinated. It's about the highly competitive world of high school debating, which is a totally different thing than I assumed it was. My idea of high school debate teams was more along the lines of something out of Rushmore, but they're actually way weirder than that. The kids try to pack as much information as they possibly can into the time that they have, so they developed an ultra-fast way of speaking that involves a sort of manic breathing technique. Rather than characterized by persuasive arguments and poise, the debates are almost scientific in the way they are crafted, and the desired result of every debate is that whatever being argued about will end in nuclear war and human extinction. Clip above. More »
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You know how the American public is sick of "politics as usual"? Well so yesterday I had a feeling I wanted to stay away from the Democratic Primary debate in Pennsylvania but it seems like Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopoulos were determined to poison me anyway and somewhere between Bosnia and Bittergate and a half-carafe and 13 irate text messages and emails about how awful it all was I became gravely ill. Was it more despicable or shameful or simply Shakespearian, with Hillary playing Lady Macbeth and Obama playing the part of...uh...a "cucumber: a highly alert cucumber, but not one which was frightened of being sliced up and turned into sandwiches"? Did they disgrace the already disgraced enough profession of journalism? Or was it just all the commercial breaks? After the jump, Megan and I try not to hurl but this David Brooks column makes it sort of impossible. More »
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