Dear Prince Harry: Please Come Work for Jezebel

Hey, if anybody has Prince Harry’s personal email, please let him know that if he needs a job now that his military career is wrapping up, we’d be happy to welcome him into the fold here at Jezebel. We can put him to work as an editorial fellow or something, as part of a special “100 percent employment for royals” program.

The Telegraph says that being shunted off into various desk jobs didn’t particularly appeal to the prince who’s been busted down to fourth in line for the throne, so he’s leaving the armed forces. Which means he’s hunting other opportunities:

Speaking for the first time about his choice to bring his active military career to an end, he said he had reached a “crossroads” and was looking forward to starting a “new chapter” in his life.

Kensington Palace confirmed that the Prince, 30, will end his ten-year military career in June, after which he will be “actively considering other longer term employment opportunities”.

According to a source, he won’t be doing the royal thing full-time, which means he needs a real job. He’ll likely settle into charity work or “some form of public service.” Fair enough.

But Harry (can I call you Harry?), might you at least consider some sort of advice column situation here at Jezebel? You don’t have to slip us details about Granny’s corgis (though of course such details would be more than welcome). We won’t make you write about your sister-in-law’s every wardrobe decision. You can write guides to throwing parties in Vegas without your junk landing in the tabloids or perhaps we could make you some sort of fraternity liaison. You can take over my Outlander recapping duties. Or polo. Somebody needs to explain polo! As a last resort, we can just release you into the wilds of America with a camera crew and see what happens.

Plus we’ve got great benefits. Lately we get gummis in the snack cabinet every couple of weeks! (Of course you’ll have to fight the other Jezebel staffers for the limited supply but that’s life outside the palace, dear boy. Just an endless brawl for gummis.)

Look, we don’t need an answer right this minute. Just give it some thought. Door’s always open, buddy.