I mean—did you? To clarify what I’m asking here: Why did you think the store was named Staples? Because they are an office supply store and sell literal staples?

What about “staples” as in definition 4(a) in Merriam-Webster, i.e. “a commodity for which the demand is constant,” or even 4(b), i.e. “something having widespread and constant use or appeal,” or even this definition that I didn’t know existed strictly until about five seconds ago, by which I obviously mean definition (2), “a place of supply”????????????

DID YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE TIME THAT THE NAME OF THE STORE WAS A PUN OR WHATEVER?

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I didn’t until pretty recently. (My excuse: I’m stupid.) However, at a “Joyeux Diwali” celebration this very Wednesday night, it was revealed to me that several of my adult friends had never experienced this mundane revelation—until Diwali, which will from now on be known as Staples Drinkwali (TM). I was like, “What are you idiots going to tell me next, that you didn’t know that Take Off Your Pants and Jacket was also a pun or whatever?” And then their heads fell off!

This tectonic mental shifting w/r/t Staples, etc, has also been a recent occurrence among the otherwise decently competent staff at Jezebel, as captured here:

So, yeah. Stay “woke,” as the staples say. Tell all your friends.


Image via Staples

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Contact the author at jia@jezebel.com.