People's "Sexiest Man Alive": a title without equal or a sinister curse that will rob you, world's sexiest heartthrob, of your career, your dignity, your freedom...and your life?!

You've heard of the fabled "Sports Illustrated Cover Jinx," in which any team or individual who appears on SI jinxes its career? My high school had something similar: known as the "Yearbook Curse," it doomed any couple who posed together for their "Senior Page" to a breakup by Thanksgiving. (This could also be chalked up to "being 18", but why rule out the dark arts?)

You scoff? Well, behold the evidence: