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Daily Candy: "Never mind the civil war you read about. It's mostly over, and Sri Lanka is now stable, beautiful, friendly, and safe." [Daily Candy] More »
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A reader sent us an email, pointing out that the London edition of Daily Candy is suggesting that Brits may want a penis-shaped chandelier. Will you feel like a tool if you pay £3,000 for this package? Or will you just feel shafted? (Click to enlarge.) [Daily Candy] More »
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Is this an ad for the Department of Health and Human Services? Perhaps the McCain campaign? No, it's our old friend Daily Candy, which now has a "kids" version of its Dallas edition. Surely Daily Candy will have many great products to help us to rear our broods in the coming recession — like a $160 ballerina costume! We are poking holes in all our condoms right now. Watch the full ad for maximum ovary stimulation. More »
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Has the economy got you down? Thank God for editors of Daily Candy Dallas, who are always looking out for those passionately pinching pennies. Just look at these throw pillows from Square Feathers: The jute-fiber, down-filled, Texan made "collections," are totally "affordable," starting at the low price of $135 for an 18 inch square design. Now, you'll have to excuse us, we have to get back to our meal of canned beans and rice. [Daily Candy] More »
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Dear Brian Roberts: More »
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Are you ugly? Well, Daily Candy thinks so, and they have the perfect thing for your disgusting mug. Introducing the Ugly Bag, a $2 paper bag with no eye holes that you wear over you face to mask your ugliness. Surely it will soon become the favorite gag gift of all of your passive-aggressive frenemies (like Daily Candy!). Don't ever say that the editors at Daily Candy don't have a sense of humor! (Well, just don't say they can successfully execute a joke post.) [Daily Candy] More »
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With gray slush still sticking to the sidewalks, the editors at Daily Candy: Boston are here to solve your cold-weather shoe needs! "Last week's near-death experience involving your narrow heels, a misplaced pile of snow, and a Weimaraner had you giving up on the outdoors (and the dear old dog) altogether," they write. And they've got some sensible, durable, weather-appropriate shoes to recommend: Peep-toe flats and metallic gold stilettos in prices ranging from $350 flats to $475 stiletto sandals. Because if you're going to ruin some leather shoes in winter weather, you might as well make sure they are expensive! DC also recommends a leather flip-flop sandal for your "date with the new S.O."; wear them next Saturday when freezing rain is predicted for New England! [Daily Candy: Boston] More »
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The cultivated tastemakers at Daily Candy Seattle have seen it all: "When your line of work involves everything from back-door bleaching to turd removal, it takes something rather shocking to move you" begins their post on wood bowls. Wait, what? These aren't just any wood bowls, mind you, they are gallery-featured wood bowls made from "reclaimed" trees, reasonably priced from $300-$1,400. Laura Yeats is a woodworker who "speaks for the trees"— tress who apparently have a burning desire to be fashioned into overpriced containers to display wealthy women's organic kumquats. But try to resist the urge to re-mortgage your house for a set of "artful" salad bowls; after all, Anthropologie sells the exact same thing without the craft-fair vibe and the 4-digit price point. [Daily Candy: Seattle] More »
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Do you want to keep your vagina covered but hate the idea of wearing actual underwear? Do you wear thongs but wish you had something more uncomfortable to wear? Daily Candy has the perfect underwear for you! Declaring "hoo-has" out, DC found strapless g-string "underwear" from Shibue Couture, a company which, judging from their glittery, Geocities-inspired website, creates "couture" for alt-weekly erotic massuses. Made of indeterminable "soft, high-quality fabrics" the strapless g-string sticks to the body with tape, wrapping around the front and up the back (click the picture to see!). Rest assured that these panty-pasties are reusble, allowing you to "whore out again" after a quick wash and re-tape. DC recommends the gold-studded pair, sure to go great with your newly bleached asshole. Stay classy, Daily Candy. [Daily Candy: Everywhere] More »
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File this under outrageous: According to today's DailyCandy, even our assholes could stand to look a little younger and cuter! Explain the editors: "Van Morrison wrote the song 'Brown Eyed Girl' as an endearing ode to a former love. And while some will always argue that brown eyes are classic... it has come to our attention that it is no longer acceptable for your bunghole to be, well, brown." Really? Really! And DailyCandy has just the solution: a skin bleaching gel called BungGlow that imparts "a fresher, more youthful look," for just $50. As for the brown anuses of women of color, well, it seems that they're just shit outta luck. [Daily Candy: Everywhere] More »
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A high-end spa in West Hollywood, is touting its Charme "skin renewal" treatment, and — no surprise here — the DC gals are already buzzing about it! Charme entails using a machine to spray water on your face. Yes: Spray. Water. On. Face. Of course the water is "low-pH, freshly ionized" (read: expensive), and, according to some "studies in Japan" it's supposed to have some epidermic benefits, but something tells us that not spending half our rent on a glorified humidifier will reap more benefits for our skin than the stress of knowing we just dropped a couple hundred on another worthless, hyped-up beauty product. [Daily Candy: Los Angeles] More »
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The editors at Daily Candy seem to be feeling a bit nostalgic for the time when their superiority over others was represented by the location of their lunch tables: today, the editors of four editions (New York, Washington D.C., Philadelphia, and Seattle) decide to revisit their origami skills, homemade terrariums, rock camps, and fake mustaches of years gone by through the sentimental lens of adolescence. (Don't you think that, if they wanted women to buy into what they're shilling, they'd steer clear of readers' acne-riddled, painfully-awkward pre-teen memories?) After the jump, and with the help of Daily Candy editors, we remember the awkward indoor-kid crafts and butch, tomboy phases of our junior high school traumas. More »
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This little nugget of DC wisdom comes to us from Washington D.C.: Ever wish that the random splotches on your apartment walls could help you organize your keys? Meet Harry, an "organizational device" from Sweden or whatever that literally looks like globs of neon-splattered spaghetti. This might seem cool in concept but those little gooey "hairs" are never going to adequately hold all of your stuff and you will inevitably be throwing your keys in whatever random pile you come across (you know there are many) when you come home after a night of drinking. [DailyCandy] More »
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We don't want to be alarmist, but... eleven shopping days until Christmas! And have you even started on your boyfriend's present? What? Well, surely you have a boyfriend if you are reading Daily Candy...and surely if you have a boyfriend and read Daily Candy then the idea of purchasing $76 boxers or a designer wood slingshot makes total sense. A few of our other favorite DC holiday gift ideas, after the jump. More »
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Not sure what you're doing this weekend? Neither are we. But we're probably not going to do anything Daily Candy tells us to do. This is not because delicately pecking at tapas at the "cutest" new restaurant while reading the "latest" novel about a blah blah fashion editor blah blah socialite detective and looking down occasionally at our "freshly" pedicured feet in brand new "super" high heeled shoes, isn't appealing. We just did that last weekend, and the weekend before, and the weekend before that while following the Daily Candy Weekend Guide. Ha ha ha kidding! After the jump, Intern Cheryl runs through some of Daily Candy's more absurd and/or banal weekend activities, and fills the gaping cavity in their usefulness by suggesting some alternatives. More »
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The future of America is officially fucked: Today sees the debut of DailyCandy Kids, through which an entire new generation of impressionable young females will learn to fetishize cupcakes, fruity-flavored cocktails, overpriced stilettos and $60 manicures. [MediaBistro] More »
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We'll tell you what kind of candy they're giving out over at the Daily Candy: The crack kind! Today, administrative assistants and mumsy accountants everywhere recoiled in horror when they realized that the internet's biggest cheerleader for conspicuous consumption was NSFW. At Daily Candy Everywhere a (sexually) frustrated playwright imagines a conversation between the two guys in the Macintosh commercials about the OhMiBod, the vibrator that hooks up to an iPod and vibrates to the rhythm of the music. "Once they set a playlist, they can hop on the soul train and get off at Masturbation Station," Mac guy says. Um, ew. There's more stilted sexuality in the Daily Candy Chicago entry, where a writer extols a class about oral sex in classic Candyese: "We promise it won't suck or bite. (And by the end of the hour, neither will you.)" More »
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The day we never thought would arrive is here: DailyCandy has pronounced the death of the cupcake. Yes, after years of keeping it real (ca. 2000) and validating every Sex And The City obsessed Carrie Bradshaw-clone with talk of icing, sprinkles and the perfect moist little morsels, even they seem to think the baked good is out now. By this logic (since DailyCandy, is like the online version of the NY Times "Sunday Styles" section with regards to "trends", if DailyCandy says cupcakes are out, that might actually mean that they're in. Ugh. Now our heads hurt. And, uh, we kind want sugar. Anyway, how cupcakes are out (and yogurt is in!) after the jump. More »
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We were beginning to worry about the editors of DailyCandy. There were mentions of bacterial infections. Black Croc spats. Had they abandoned their Cosmopolitan-swilling ways, we wondered? But today's editions of the cloying, consumption-promoting newsletter illustrate that the girls may have their mojo back: There's shampoo laced with antidepressants! Chaufferred shopping trips! Psychics! Oh, and skinny jeans! (Ugh, aren't skinny jeans over? If not, could someone please make that happe already?). Today's Cavity, after the jump. More »
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Surprising, but it's been a while since DailyCandy editors have mentioned cupcakes, pink cocktails or any other chronic symptom of the girly scourge that was Sex And The City. Have they finally moved on to bigger and better things? Not really, but if the offerings on display today are any indication, someone on staff is sorta into the black arts! More »
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Like an anorexic best friend, DailyCandy gets no greater satisfaction than the sight of you stuffing your face. Mmmmm doesn't that fattening, carbohydrate-laden food look tasty? Mmmmmm don't you want some? But you're so skinny! You're probably skinnier than me! More »
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Today in DailyCavity: Why DailyCandy editors think we should get a cute new ass, feel up a coffee mug, spend $1000 on the accessory-equivalent of a fortune cookie and indulge our inner 5-year-olds, after the jump. More »
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DailyCandy editors are putting their sadistic sides on display today. Apparently, there's nothing funnier than faking a crime scene [Actually, that is kind of funny. -Ed.] pinning a man down and shaving him, or watching a pet get tortured. Don't believe us? Judge for yourselves after the jump. More »
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It's exhausting worrying about our friends over at DailyCandy. When we're not freaking out about whether they're secretly talking trash about us behind our backs or trying to lure our dads out of the closet... well, we actually do worry about their own emotional well-being, seeing that they're locked up in some office somewhere surrounded by cupcakes and peonies and Sex And The City DVDs. And based on today's tips, we're not entirely convinced that everything is working that well at DailyCandy HQ. Why we suspect DailyCandy might have pulled a Paris (before she got sprung, that is), after the jump. More »
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Today brings forth an extra-special edition of DailyCandy Everywhere — all about fabulous Father's Day gifts! (And we use "fabulous" in that suitably euphemistic way that really means gay.) So if Pops already has the poster from Rufus Wainwright's "Judy Garland" concert at Carnegie Hall, they have some other ideas... More »
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We're beginning to wonder if DailyCandy editors don't make absurd lifestyle recommendations because they're cruel, but because they're batshit insane. To wit: More »
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You know your 5th grade frenemy? The girl who acted like you were totally BFF's, but was actually using you...to be the butt of her jokes? Welcome to your present-day relationship with DailyCandy, which totally thinks you're retarded enough to idolize Lindsay Lohan's style, be one of the organic hippie freaks, and have nothing better to do than pick up paper bags with your mouth on a Friday night (no, seriously). More on today's tips that reveal how much DailyCandy thinks you're really, really pathetic and easily impressionable, after the jump. More »
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DailyCandy editors seem to be stuck in an alternate reality in which Sex and the City is still, like, relevant. In fact, they'll be damned if they let cupcakes, overflowing wardrobes, or "secret" sample sales go gentle into that good night. Today's not-so-helpful tips? That if we want to be totally fabulous, we have to also be pretty damn lazy. To wit: More »
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