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You'd better sit down for this one. No, actually you're going to want to stand up, because sitting and getting comfortable in general makes you look like a fatty. The Daily Mail continued its record of journalistic excellence today with a stunning revelation: Wearing high heels makes you look slightly slimmer! We thought women were just wearing them because they enjoy having difficulty walking, but according to the paper heels will make you drop a full dress size — particularly if they're "nude," and you're light-skinned. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5856255&view=rss&microfeed=true "Captured on our streets by a foreign lens," ran The Daily Mail headline, "shaming images that turned Britain into a laughing stock." The captions warned, "Tequila-fuelled young women strike crude poses that will (or should) mortify them in the sober light of day. More worryingly, one or two are unconscious on the pavement, dangerously vulnerable in their pathetic state." More »
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After Alice Taylor's cell-phone photographs of the highly anatomically incorrect mannequins at a London Gap store went viral — we covered the story last week — she started fielding inquiries about the pictures and interview requests from newspapers around the world. More »
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Disabled rights activists protested in criticism of the paper's "defamation of benefit claimants" on disability. But we're pretty sure this sign was an joke about the Fail's preferred form of analysis. More »
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One Daily Mail writer is super-psyched when she finally has a little boy. "So imagine my confusion when at the age of two, my son Henry rejected T-shirts and trousers in favour of dresses. By the age of three, he was calling himself Miss Argentina and rushing home from nursery to squeeze into something Liz Hurley would wear for cocktails." More »
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British mom Juliet Shaw was horrified when the Daily Mail turned her story of moving back to her rural hometown into a salacious tale of "Sex & the Country." So she took them to court. More »
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Parents often name their children aspirationally, bestowing upon their offspring names that they hope will help their offspring succeed. The mother of Great Britain's Destinee Superstar really brought out the big guns. More »
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Our favorite lady-baiting UK tab has some charming insight for you this Christmas week: Men dump fatties. Any questions? More »
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Budding filmmaker Janis Nords wined and dined his ladyfriend at fancy London restaurants then ducked out on paying the bill—until a camera caught him, dun dun DUN, and he got busted. But maybe the crimes were her fault? More »
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Tiger Woods's (alleged) mistress Rachel Uchitel is speaking out — about her "love addiction," her plan to become a private detective, and how much hotter she is than Tiger's other paramours. More »
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One man, two sex changes, about a million gender stereotypes — welcome, friends, to the prejudice-ridden world of millionaire Charles Kane. More »
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Did you know that crazy, PMS-ridden ladies aren't the only ones with "mood swings?" Apparently even men's stoic constitutions change throughout the day — and women can use this to their advantage! More »
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"Yes, it's feminism we have to thank for the spread of fast-food chains and an epidemic of childhood obesity." How, you ask? Why, the (supposed) death of home cooking! More »
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In a survey by GenderStereotypes.com UKJobs.net, a majority of respondents said they prefer male bosses because women are bitchy, unreasonable, and always on their periods. More »
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"Nervously, I approach the novelist, carrying the best box of chocolates I could find," writes Sharon Churcher. "I start to apologise that I hadn't brought more but a beaming Nelle, as her friends and family call her, extends her hand..." More »
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The claim that abortion causes breast cancer is simply won't die, despite much evidence to the contrary. This week's culprit (of course) is the Daily Mail. More »
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According to a UK study inexplicably commissioned by a "female car insurance company," women are more likely to enjoy exercise if they bring along a friend. Obvious, right? But then it gets weird. More »
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Today, Liz Jones tackles the clothes "women think are fashionable but men hate." Uggs. Jumpsuits. Harem pants. Oversized sunglasses. Leggings! More »
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The woman, actually, is beloved Daily Mail columnist Liz Jones, ever bemoaning her pitiful finances. But her expenses as detailed in past columns offer insight into how she got to this point. The trip to Mozambique didn't help. [Guardian] More »
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But not without much hemming and hawing beforehand. She writes, "Throughout my life, I have never believed in therapy. How can talking about a problem, raking over the past, solve anything?" (Bold, ours.) [Daily Mail] More »
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The Daily Mail's crappy marriage coverage today isn't limited to the allegation that 60% of married women tricked their husbands into marrying them. The Fail also claims tricky women just want to be stay-at-home moms. More »
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"Apparently 80 per cent of women have items of clothing hidden in the wardrobe which are testament to the days when they were that bit thinner." [Daily Mail] More »
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According to "life coach and agony aunt" Pam Spurr, "Internet addiction" isn't just for unemployed, Warcraft-playing schlubs anymore. This beast can also attack young women — especially those named Anna. More »
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The Daily Mail is re-marketing Liz Jones as a zany character! More »
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If admitted misanthrope Liz Jones can overcome her aversion to the homeless to learn the true spirit of Christmas, can't we do the same? More »
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• Diane Kruger nabbed a L'Oréal contract. [Elle UK]
• And yes, Siriano provides the contractually-obligated fierceness. [Racked]

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"She never asked if she could write about our life together and I feel humiliated. She hates me because she thinks I leaked her name, but I still love her and think about her every five minutes." [Daily Mail] More »
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• Here are leaked pictures of Lindsay Lohan's spring campaign for 6126. The images were shot by reality-TV-star photographers Markus Klinko and Indrani. [Gone Hollywood]

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Worst first sentence ever: "Date-rape drugs are largely an urban myth used as an excuse by women who booze themselves into a stupor, it has been claimed." [Daily Mail] More »
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Daily Mail columnist Jan Moir has issued an apology for her furor-causing exercise-in-sensitivity, saying "I would like to say sorry if I have caused distress by the insensitive timing of the column, published so close to the funeral." [DailyExpress] More »
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Apparently we weren't the only one appalled by the Daily Mail's latest exercise in sensitivity: since their inflammatory piece on the late pop star Stephen Gately, the UK's press watchdog has received "a record 21,000 complaints." [AP] More »
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"It's official," Jones writes in her latest column for the Daily Mail, "Modern man is a wimp." Yes, it's true: after attacking everyone from "posh" women to the "stupid" women of America, Jones has finally set her sights on men. More »
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Ew ew ew. Even by Daily Mail standards, using a pop star's death as a means of trashing gay marriage is really low: More »
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Turns out the Daily Mail made up large chunks of Laura Scott's article on her childlessness, including the statement, "not having kids is the best thing I've ever done," and a story about a friend who doesn't even exist. [ChildlessByChoiceProject] More »
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Laura Scott is 47, childless, and writing in the Daily Mail. Given the venue, we figured she'd be blaming feminism for her barren womb and life — but actually, she's totally happy. More »
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According to the Daily Mail, women's waists — and feet — have gotten significantly bigger since the 1950s. (Cue regular joke comments on 50's sizing.) So why are we so pleased with ourselves? More »
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Oh, also the fountain of youth: More »
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• The details of Fashion's Night Out — aka Anna Wintour's Plan To Save Retail — have been announced. Over 700 stores in all five boroughs will be participating in events that range from sewing circles to cook-ins to rock shows:

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Liz Jones' "For 40 years I have battled anorexia - so what happened when I had to eat normally for three weeks?" is, hands down, one of the most upsetting pieces of writing we've ever seen. More »
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"I have to confess to knowing the truth about this sordid profession - because eight years ago, I succumbed to the lure of paying for sex." And - oh yeah - the lure of being Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. More »
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