The loudest lovers in New York have apparently been located by the world’s most garbage tabloid. The Daily Mail says it tracked down the couple living in Brooklyn whose neighbors have called 311 over 100 times this year to complain about the strenuosness of their lovemaking.

DNAInfo reported yesterday that the building in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn is the city’s epicenter for loud sex complaints to 311, New York’s all-purpose complaining hotline. The Mail claims that the happy couple is a building handyman, 25, and his “older” girlfriend, a woman in her late 30s who lives in the building and is reportedly four months pregnant. In a striking display of relative good taste, the Mail didn’t run their names.

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The girlfriend, when tracked down to her front door for comment by the tabloid, had a pretty good response: “I’m doing what I’m doing in my own apartment. I’m not hurting anyone. My neighbors calling the city are going about it the wrong way.”

Pretty much. As my august colleague and licensed sexologist (right?) Mark Shrayber noted yesterday, where is one supposed to have sex if not in one’s own apartment? And if your neighbors are really that active, sack-wise, and have such a healthy set of lungs that it’s genuinely bugging you, try knocking on the door and asking them to keep it down? Investing in a white noise machine? Engaging in some competitive sex-screaming of your own to make a passive-aggressive and deeply enjoyable point?

Our best wishes to the very very happy couple, although if you’re really keeping your windows open round the clock, it does sound like you should maybe cut that out.

Image via Flickr/Chris Goldberg