Surprise! We’ll never stop talking about dadbod, the year’s most irritating word, because dadbod has been recognized by science. A Northwestern University study published this week in the American Journal of Men’s Health has concluded that “men gain weight after they become fathers for the first time whether or not they live with their children.”
In other words: new dads get dadbod.
The typical 6-foot-tall man who lives with his child gained an average of about 4.4 pounds after becoming a first-time dad; the 6-foot-tall dad who does not live with his child gained about 3.3 pounds, the study reports. That’s a 2.6 percent rise in BMI (body mass index) for resident dads and a 2 percent rise in BMI for non-resident dads after controlling for other variables.
When an alien civilization lands on Earth hundreds of thousands of years after the next Texas-sized asteroid destroys humanity, the only remaining record of our existence will be the word ‘DADBOD’ carved into the side of a cliff.
“I knew it, Quazzos,” one brave extraterrestrial explorer will scream through her communicator. “Those fucking Earthlings were obsessed with dadbods, too.”
Contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Image via FX/Giphy