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The design website UnderConsideration has created an incredible interactive graphic featuring 69 real cover lines featured on magazines in 2010. You can filter by magazine or by various keywords, including "burning," "crazy," "STDs," "thong," and "vagina," to generate a new graphic. It's an incredibly useful tool for figuring out whether you should consult Cosmo, Glamour, Maxim, Men's Heath, Redbook, Self, or Women's Health for expert advice on "His Burning Sex Need." (Hint: The answer is Cosmo. All of these lines are absurd, but no other magazine stoops to using the terms "va-jay-jay" and "hoo-ha" on its covers.) More »
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Michelle Obama is on the cover of this week's Newsweek. Inside is a story about her "Let's Move" initiative, but more importantly, what is she wearing? The blog Mrs-O has the answer: a Narciso Rodriguez dress accessorized with pearls. [Mrs-O] More »
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This clip from the September Issue's DVD bonus footage perhaps explains why Vogue cover lies are always so, well, daft. They're made up by a bunch of women who sit around, tossing out cliché after cliché, until something sticks. More »
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If your boyfriend or husband has been laid off recently, beware: All that free time has turned him into a chronic masturbator, and he's singlehandedly (heh) ruining your sex life. Cosmo recommends you crack the whip — literally. More »
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Good news, ladies: The November issue of Glamour features its much-ballyhooed plus-sized photoshoot, meaning that being bigger than a sample size is finally acceptable (though readers' faces, wardrobes, and sex lives still need some work). More »
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In the October issue of Cosmopolitan Megan Fox declares, "Women hold the power because we have the vaginas... If you're in a heterosexual relationship and you're a female you win." The editors say keeping your mouth shut works too! More »
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Allure's editors have made a shocking discovery: Whether you're slim or overweight, at some point, your face will start looking older. This month, they tried to recapture their youth by giving a Disney star and self-proclaimed "nice girl" the cover. More »
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Do you feel like your mother just doesn't critique your appearance enough? The September issue of Allure provides a rundown of her classic beauty nags so you can enrage yourself between her visits and phone calls. More »
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According to the August issue of Vogue, if you can recall the days when Christy Turlington graced the magazine's pages, before Vogue's models emitted an alien Photoshop glow and were forced make marionette arms in every photo, you're officially old. More »
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Oh goody, it's the September Marie Claire featuring Eva Mendes. We learned a lot this month from the women's mag that is "more than just a pretty face." Like, did you know that Eva Mendes has a girlcrush on Annette Bening because the woman is not afraid to say the word "fuck"? Or that it's not okay to read Us Weekly while sitting next to your boss on the airplane? Or that "salt caves" exist in strip malls in and around Chicago? We feel smarter already! In this installment of Cover Lies, discover which horrific pant style from the early 90s is back and what kind of books Eva likes to keep on her nightstand, because we know you really care. More »
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The cover of the new, September issue of Glamour mentions sex three times. And, as usual, the articles leave us with much to be desired. (Thanks for the one sexual position that will help us cope with small penises and thanks for the breaking news that men fantasize about threesomes and foursomes! Plus: Don't like giving head? Too bad! Do it anyway!) In fact, it feels as though we took a wrong turn and got lost somewhere in the pages of this month's Cosmo. After the jump, find out what Glamour has to say about Penelope Cruz (hint: it might have something to do with sex) because, after all, it's what's on the inside of magazines that counts. More »
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Why the long face, SJP? Perhaps you're confused, like us, about the pain-killer-induced art direction which resulted in your surprisingly unflattering visage on this month's cover? Maybe you can't quite follow your mise-en-abyme-filled profile where writer Plum Sykes totally just blurs the line between you, Carrie Bradshaw, a real Vogue photo shoot, a fake Vogue photo shoot, herself, and herself playing herself for the fake Vogue photo shoot which was kind of a real Vogue photo shoot because those pictures ended up in this month's issue. Okay, now we're totally lost. Kind of like the un-Vogue words "Let's Talk About Sex" on this month's cover. Maybe they got lost on their way to Cosmopolitan? (We also distinctly remember reading those headlines in In Touch or Life & Style or US Weekly in an article on this very same movie!) Anyway, after the jump, find out about the terrifying things floating in your water, the types of bridezillas Vogue is targeting, and what kind of pants you need to wear EVERYWHERE ... because after all, it's what's on the inside that counts. More »
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It's officially Summer in the world of women's magazines! Are you as excited as we are for the massive amount of "expert" advice on slimming down and toning up so that you can fit into the perfect $300 swimsuit for your body type? The June Marie Claire "Body Issue" helps us kick off the season with a feature on picking the perfect bathing suit — not by trying it on, mind you, but by forcing us to liken our bodies to those of three female celebrities. (Not surprisingly, those "diverse-bodied" celebs probably all have BMIs less than or equal to that of cover model, Heidi Klum, who, by the way, is wearing Brooks Brothers suspenders and not a rock-climbing harness.) After the jump, find out about hump-hungry female bosses and how to cheap-out (metaphorically and financially) on your friends' weddings. More »
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Fergie! Why hello dear, you've been on an awful lot of our magazine covers lately! Is it because, being a former meth-addicted derelict, you make for such a candid, forthcoming interview? No! You're keeping "private life private" as they say, and good for you, by which I mean fuck you...well wait, perhaps I'm being unfair: there was the admission that you take shots of vinegar to aid digestion. Dropping them regularity bombs there, Fergieferg! ANYWAY, so this month's Glamour was about as good as a canister of Metamucil. My personal favorite part was the "How To Be Confident" package, which included a list of "things you would say to a baby that you should say to yourself." (Sample: "oooh what a cute squishy butt!") (Yes I wish I were kidding.) After the jump we go through all the lines to make them more "accurate." But mostly to amuse ourselves. More »
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We decided to craft a little (and admittedly throwaway!) response to Redbook's diet-and-image obsessed July 2007 cover, in light of, well, our earlier post! Check it out after the jump. Have any of your own you want to share with us? Email us, or put 'em in the comments. More »
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