Couple Finds a Dying Snake in a Free Curbside Couch Because Of Course

Snakes. Ssssssssnakessssssss. Some people swear by snakes, but other people foreswear snakes. Whatever your personal feelings about snakes, though, we can all probably agree that too many irresponsible people have decided to adopt pet snakes that either get too big, are actually poisonous, or slither into a drain only to emerge weeks later in a small child’s bubble bath. It can be creepy, this snake business, and a story about how a woman in Michigan recently found a snake in a couch she and her boyfriend plucked off the street probably won’t help ease any feelings of creepiness.

We should get one thing out of the way — always subject free street furniture to thorough inspection. If that already seems obvious to you, then you’re light years ahead of a Grand Rapids resident named Holly Wright, who, along with her boyfriend, found a free couch on the street one day, brought it home, and subjected it to the ever-faithful smell test, after which it became a fixture in their home for one whole weekend. Unfortunately, the new lounging surface was actually doubling as a giant, plushy snake box.

From WZZM in Grand Rapids:

Over the weekend, that changed when the snake emerged from inside the couch. “It was very lethargic,” says Wright. “It didn’t really react or hiss, but when we poked it with a coat hanger it coiled up a little bit, so at that point we flipped the couch over.”

She says they tore the side of the couch and removed the snake and put it into a box for safe keeping. “It was quite cold in the room, there was no food for the snake and I think it came out of the couch because it was dying,” explained Wright.

Wright and her boyfriend tried to get the snake some much-needed care, but the animal had apparently been trapped in the couch too long and it died soon after emerging, which is sad and portentous all at once. Of course, there’s only one thing that can be done with this snake couch now.