Congratulations to Paula Deen on Her New Book Deal with Hachette!

Paula Deen, diabetic butter enthusiast and famed deployer of racial slurs (as she said in her deposition: “I can’t, myself, determine what offends another person”), has just signed a multi-book deal with Hachette, the publisher relatively fresh off their frazzled, victorious campaign against Amazon to set their own e-book prices.

Hachette will sell and distribute both the print and electronic versions of the books owned by Paula Deen Ventures, a company formed in 2014 with between $75 and $100 million in private equity cash. According to the L.A. Times, Hachette will reissue old Paula Deen books as well as sell new titles that will be more health-conscious, such as a book to be released in September called Paula Deen Cuts the Fat.

Todd McGarity, Hachette’s VP of client distribution services, wrote in the press release:

We are thrilled to be working with Paula Deen, whose trademark warmth and culinary flair are as appealing as ever. Her large, dedicated fan base is eager for more from her, and we are looking forward to continuing to build on her impressive sales.

Here is a sample of Deen’s “trademark warmth,” from the lawsuit filed by former Deen employee Lisa Jackson:

Well what I would really like is a bunch of little n***ers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties, you know in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around. Now, that would be a true Southern wedding wouldn’t it? But we can’t do that because the media would be on me about that.

According to the Wall Street Journal, Paula Deen’s Facebook fan base more than doubled in the year after her remarks were made public, and subscriptions to her magazine went up by 40 percent. Hachette will do well with this deal, and maybe fight Amazon some more with the money. Truly, what a time to be alive.

Here are my free suggestions for upcoming Paula Deen titles.

Bittersweet Chocolate: My Season of Regret
Y’all, My Eyes Are Literally So Crazy
Butter Me Up, I’m a Damn Racist (And You Are Too)
How to Get Through the Holidays With Only Three Housekeepers
You Don’t Even Want to Know All the Things I’m Thinking About This Cab Driver
Orange Is the New Race