A man and woman were found "rolling on the ground, making out and getting sexual" in front of a prom dress store in Chula Vista, California. Luckily for the world, not only was principal witness Christy Peterson—the owner of Christina's Dress Shop—able to capture this magical moment on video, she is also a truly talented storyteller.

"We were... just so shocked, our mouths were just... open," Christy begins, wide-eyed. Lest you think this was a victimless crime, there were several teenage girls shopping for prom dresses "who got the shock of their lives," as well as one (1) baby and one (1) brand new seventeen-year-old employee who had to be taken to the back of the store.

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"LITERALLY, THIS IS WHERE IT HAPPENED," Christy gestures excitedly at the green (?) concrete in front of her store. After about 15 minutes of "rolling around," the man allegedly disrobed and was all, "let us fuck"; Christy: "Her legs were in the air and the guy was on top." At this point, Christy & Co. "were just panicked," and called the police.

The new pals, who had met on the trolley, were "all cuddled up" when the police entered the scene. The woman was given a citation, and the man was handcuffed and taken to jail. Probably because he was naked, but still, the town of Chula Vista remains cloaked in an air of mystery. Only one thing is certain, and that is: Christy will talk about this at every dinner party she ever goes to.