College Students Throw Racist Fit Over Being Denied A Snow Day

It’s cold in the middle of the country. Hair follicle numbingly, butt puckeringly, jean freezingly cold. And so, when the National Weather Services forecasted treacherous wind chills for their city, University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign students collectively hoped the school’s Chancellor Phyllis Wise would cancel all classes on Monday. She didn’t. And that’s when shit got ugly.

The #FuckPhyllis hashtag started as a few students being real cockbags on Twitter because they didn’t want to go into the cold with their backpacks and their nubile early twentysomething bodies. Look: the cold sucks, but unless you live in that county in Western Minnesota that last week banned all travel due to weather, sometimes you have to go outside in it.

Chancellor Wise, you see, is not only the person responsible for not canceling class on a very cold day when students did not want to go outside, she also happens to be a woman. An Asian woman.

You can probably see where this is going. Hitler comparisons were just the beginning (remember how Hitler is famous for making the Nazis go outside when they didn’t want to? What a monster!). There were also sexist insults, and the anti-Asian racism idiots love.

Look! Both at the same time! Way to give it the old college try!

It wasn’t long before the hashtag was co-opted by people who were like WTF EVEN IS THIS YOU WHINY TURDS? but in the meantime, students started a Change.org petition to get out of class, started a fake Twitter account under the Chancellor’s name, and began circulating weird racist memes about her. Jesus Christ, guys- wear 3 pairs of pants on top of each other, wrap your face in some sweater strips, and go to fucking class. Or do what I did when it was too cold to go to school: just skip.