• Kim Kardashian, who is not an actress, and has admitted that her true talent is "marketing," attended the Screen Actors Guild awards, where she informed a reporter on the red carpet that she would like to be an actress.

• Lady Gaga will serve as the "Music Director" for her pal and stylist Nicola Formichetti's first show helming the recently revived label Thierry Mugler. Rumor has it that Gaga will be unveiling songs from her forthcoming album. [WWD]

• Natalie Portman's Best Actress trophy at last night's Critic's Choice Movie Awards was Black Swan's only victory of the night, even though it was nominated in 12 different categories. The Facebook movie snuck up from behind, winning three awards.

Palm Springs, January 8: Colin Firth holds his Desert Palm Achievement award with presenter, actress Helen Mirren at the Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards Gala. Meanwhile, Helen Mirren's out of control hotness continues to defy the laws of physics.

[Dubai, December 12: Carey Mulligan and Colin Firth at the premiere of The King's Speech. Image via Getty.]

• Have your secretary clear your shhhedule! Prince William and Kate Middleton have decided to hold their wedding at Westminster Abbey; the date will be Friday, April 29, 2011.

• According to reports in the Arab press, Naomi Campbell is going to convert to Russian Orthodox faith so she can marry her scary-rich oligarch boyfriend, Vladimir Doronin, in a massive ceremony at the Temple of Luxor on the Nile! [P6]

• More on this in Midweek Madness: Life & Style is reporting that before she entered a treatment center, Demi Lovato had become a big fan of cocaine.

• It's from The Sun, so, you know, consider the source and all, but one of Lady Gaga's roadies claims that the singer is planning to marry her boyfriend, Luc Carl in a "fairytale" ceremony this winter.

• Unsolicited Uterus Update! Penelope Cruz is filming the new Pirates Of The Caribbean movie, and this paper claims that she seems to have "a bump beneath her rigging."

[Los Angeles, March 7. Image via Getty]

• Helena Bonham Carter says that despite all evidence to the contrary, Johnny Depp isn't great at everything: "He can't dance at all. In Alice he dances and it is hidden really well that he is terrible." [ShowbizSpy]

• Justin Timberlake's mom Lynn Harless calls Jessica Biel "one of us." She says:

• Kim Kardashian was seated next to an air marshal on a flight to LA and Tweeted:

• Jennifer Aniston is on the cover of Architectural Digest following the 2½ year overhaul of her home. But even though the mag is not a tabloid, it emphasizes Aniston's single status:

[London, February 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Lindsay Lohan was spotted making out with a guy two weeks ago, but last night she went out with Samantha Ronson. [TMZ]

[London, January 29. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Victoria Beckham says the dresses in her fashion line are, "For women of all different shapes and sizes. Actually, the one I tried on yesterday was the one Jennifer [Lopez] wore..."

• Courtney Love, who recently lost custody of Frances Bean Cobain, posted two incoherent rants on her Facebook page today, bashing Kurt Cobain's family and her 17-year-old daughter. She says Frances "was deceptive she lied and shes lying to herself."

• OMG. Is the world ready for little 4-year-old David Banda? Madonna says, when it comes to her work: "He knows every song, every word, every step, and he wants to wear all the costumes." And:

• Taylor Swift received eight Grammy nominations. "I started freaking out and jumping up and down," she claims. On winning one, she says:

• Colin Firth won Best Actor at the Venice Film Festival for his role in former Gucci designer Tom Ford's directorial debut, A Single Man. [Vogue UK]
• Did Louis Vuitton make a $590 knock off of this New Balance sneaker? [WWD]

• Twihards! Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson says there will be a fourth Twilight movie; the plot of the book Breaking Dawn will come to the big screen. What does this mean?

• Damn Yankee Alex Rodriguez — previously linked to Madonna — was seen MAKING OUT with Kate Hudson in Miami. Isn't she into hairy hippies? [Page Six]

[Durham, North Carolina; April 15. Image via INF]

• Sarah Palin isn't smiling with her eyes over Levi Johnston's appearance on the Tyra Banks Show, where he discussed his relationship with Palin's daughter, Bristol. Palin has released a statement accusing Johnston of "lies."[People]

• More Manolos and man-drama: The Sex And The City sequel is on. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis are all on board… and getting more cash. [Us]

• The FBI has "recovered" jewelry given to Anne Hathaway by Raffaello Follieri. Meaning she gave it up. Two Rolex watches, rings, necklaces, and bracelets. There is no value given yet but every time the paperwork says "clear stones" you can bet that they're talking about diamonds. Sigh. [The Smoking Gun]
• Rosie O'Donnell wrote about Sarah Palin and Elisabeth Hasselbeck on her blog: "sarah p – elisabeth h/identical cousins/women who hunt in high heels/gives one pause." [TMZ]
• Wednesday, a judge said that Nicole Richie has been taking care of herself and is "in compliance" with the terms of her probation stemming from her 2006 DUI bust. She has turned things around since driving the wrong way on the freeway after taking Vicodin and smoking pot, huh? [Yahoo News]
• Post-rehab Kiki Dunst is on the October cover of Harper's Bazaar. Did you know she was in rehab for being "enormously co-dependent"? She says: "Everyone goes through a hard time in their life. They just don't have to do it in front of tons of people and with our media the way it is. I did, and I'm lucky that I had the resources and the money to take care of myself." [People]