<![CDATA[Jezebel: Cnbc]]> http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: Cnbc]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/cnbc http://jezebel.com/tag/cnbc <![CDATA[The Burden Of Being Erin Burnett]]> Erin Burnett is hot. She is also a financial reporter. Unfortunately, many of the men around her seem incapable of separating the two. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5789811&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[CNBC Helpfully Explains "Why Women Aren't In Charge Of Sports"]]> According to one CNBC anchor, one woman's half-baked analysis of a baseball game explains "why women aren't in charge of sports." It's lucky that baseball is entrusted to those infallible men, the umpires. [YouTube] More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5554807&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[It Isn't Easy Being Maria Bartiromo]]> "My girlfriends call me up and say, ‘I love your hair and I love your shoes but I no idea what you're talking about,'" she tells The Daily Beast. Thank god we girls have Maria to explain it all. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5504358&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Watching Women Talk About Sexism In The Workplace Is Sort Of Like Sexism In The Workplace]]> Joanne Lipman, the editor of Portfolio, went on CNBC this morning to discuss that story about how women have altogether stopped making progress on the "gender parity" front in corporate America and I was keen to watch since I knew that she used to actually work with two of the anchors, Becky Quick and Carl Quintanilla, at the Wall Street Journal. My thoughts: Shit, Joanne looks good. Almost as good as Becky. Has she had work done? Probs. What time do you think she had to get up to look that good? Oh look, now Carl is talking, about how some problems (ahem) are "more challenging" than sexism. (How much time did you spend getting ready this morning, Carl?) And Joe Kernen, the jokey shlub in the corner who is usually my total fave: why does it not surprise me that you have nothing to say about this, Joe? More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=371973&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Tiffany Sales Could Save The Economy, But It's Probably Too Late For "Gross National Happiness"]]> Do you spend a lot of time thinking about the Gross Domestic Product? You might be tempted to say "no," and scroll down hoping for the next picture of Shiloh Jolie-PItt, but the fact is that you will probably vote in November, and probably for the candidate you most trust to stave off this "recession" and the definition of recession is two consecutive quarters of a contraction in the Gross Domestic Product, which is to say, the aggregate sum of all the goods and services purchased in America, and that is why I am here to tell you that the Gross Domestic Product is kind of a fraud. I say this because I have been watching CNBC, the business news network, for the past several hours and in the midst of a financial crisis that is supposed to be shaking American capitalism at its foundation they have spent a preposterously inordinate amount of time on an unexpectedly positive earnings forecast from Tiffany. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=371470&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Pat Buchanan Thinks You Should Be More Thankful For Slavery, Barry Obama]]> Pat Buchanan is entreating the black people of America to be more grateful to America bringing them here in "slave ships." I mean, they got welfare and methadone maintenance and forced Christianity and eventually the right to consider themselves fully human! Where is the gratitude, black people? And no, that is not my word; it's all Pat's. And the news of the day does not get much more uplifting. Remember that guy who founded that (ingeniously named, I might add) anti-Hillary 527 Citizens United Not Timid? Speaking of cunts he outed Eliot Spitzer because they fuck some of the same ones, which is to say those of high class whores, and also he has a tattoo of Richard Nixon. Cunts are a theme today actually, because the Washington Post spent 24 hours following the 24-hour news cycle on the day Jane Fonda said the word "cunt" on TV, an exercise that seemed profoundly depressing, and speaking of depressing 4,000 Americans have officially given their lives to the Iraq and the only uplifting thing is that Peggy Noonan found Obama's speech uplifting. She actually sat there and thought, Go America, Go. Was it the first and last time in our adult lives any of us will have that thought? Hint: Likely! Megan Carpentier of Glamocracy and I depress one another after the jump. Happy Easter folks! More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=371324&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Fox Business News: Where Are All The Hot, Semi-Fat Male Anchors?]]> All day long I've been watching Fox Business News, the new Rupert Murdoch-owned cable channel that is the big obsession of media industry types right now. Anyway, I think the deal is was originally that it was supposed to somehow cover business in way that was even more aggressively pro-business than CNBC, but then that turned out to be impossible so they told everyone they would have hotter chicks. Which is also pretty impossible! So yeah, I've been watching, and they certainly have some cute women who can sorta pronounce "Bernanke" whatevs, but the newscasts are actually really heavy on the men, none of whom I would ever do. Whereas! CNBC, for its part, has long had a huge posse of schlubby male news anchors with Cherry Garcia guts and rings around their armpits who I have always fantasized about, shortsighted stock market cheerleading and corporate excess apologisting be damned! Specifically, ahem, Joe Kernen, because he is, if you weren't aware, awesome. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=311507&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Erin Burnett Teaches Us To Use Terrible World Events To Our Advantage: An Inspiring Story Of A Blogger And Her Collection Agent]]> CNBC's Money Honey 2.0 Erin Burnett is profiled in today's Washington Post. Fittingly, we read the story while waiting on hold with one of the lawyers hired by one of our loan shark creditors and pondering whether it would be worth the $20,000 signing bonus to just go to Iraq right now and post between car bombings and such. Anyway, the story elucidates why, despite being nowhere near as hot, Erin is fast displacing Maria as the world's preeminent hot chick who knows about money.
Asked on "Hardball" about the repeated recalls of Chinese-made toys, Burnett said: "If China were to revalue its currency, or China is to start making, say, toys that don't have lead in them or food that isn't poisonous, their costs of production are going to go up, and that means prices at Wal-Mart here in the United States are going to go up too."
Somehow she got ridiculed for this incendiary linking of (duh) cause with (duh) money-saving effect, but we were inspired: Erin was on TV, right before our eyes talking about the Fed and the European Central Bank and all those huge financial institutions' deep-set paranoia that all those debt-saddled consumers out there were just going to default en masse.... and we realized that, much like shoddy Chinese manufacturing standards, there just might be a silver lining in this market especially for us... More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=293780&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Finance Roundup: It's A Lot Easier To Be Thin When You Are Rich: Our Personal Finance Roundup]]> Skip lunch, read these articles and kill two birds! As we went to press it was a kinda-whatever day in the markets, allegedly on bad home sales data — no surprise to all you readers whose minds are so deadened and perfume-addled from the April glossy gluttony that you shirked your womanly duties to read The Economist last weekend! Well yeah, that's probably just us. In the future, we'll post the internet's most fun financial stories here. Basically, because we need a break from Tyra. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=247207&view=rss&microfeed=true