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Everyone knows that it takes a certain amount of makeup to get that pretty no-makeup look. But what should you use? Where should you put it? We asked RuPaul's Drag Race finalist Manila Luzon to demonstrate a 'natural' look for us. Remember, coral lips are natural, because coral exists in nature. And here's a quotable for you: "Don't pump! It just dries out your tube." More »
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Pulled into the arena by gladiators, clad in the gleaming gold headdress of an ancient Egyptian-Greco-Roman empress, 53-year-old Madonna strutted, kicked, squat-thrusted and yogilates-cized her way through an epic halftime performance at the Super Bowl last night. Her Madgesty was mostly covered up — from ankle to knee, knuckle to elbow — and she wasn't always singing live (anyone who's seen her on tour knows that's par for the course) — but she was impressively kinetic, dominating the stage even as the dancers in togas morphed into dancers in Adidas track suits. The over-produced spectacle managed to blend lyres, hieroglyphs, cheerleaders, Vogue, voguing, a marching band and a choir. After a guest appearance by LMFAO (wearing gaudy animal print and Chuck Taylors rigged to look like gladiator sandals), Madonna was joined by Nicki Minaj and MIA, and later, Cee-Lo. One could take issue with the fact that the people of color were side-accessories to the white woman in the middle, but then again, perhaps that was just a mirror of football itself, in which most of the players are black but about 95% of quarterbacks are white. Still, if the whole point was to present a ridiculous, elaborate, eye-popping entertainment experience for football fans — and lure in curious non-football-watching folks (like yours truly), then MDNA's endeavor was a success. World peace. More »
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Because it's a Wednesday, so why not? We already knew Tavi Gevinson could sing, but the 15-year-old editor-in-chief of Rookie — along with Kathy Bates and Christopher Lloyd — also voices a forthcoming animated short film called Cadaver. In one scene, her character sings Neil Young's "Heart of Gold," the favorite song of sensitive young people who sometimes have trouble with emotional directness. (Okay, second-favorite, after "Only Love Can Break Your Heart.") The 2-D short is apparently about an elderly cadaver (Lloyd) who comes back to life, seeking a last goodbye from his wife, as he's being dissected by medical students (one of whom is played by Gevinson). Here's the trailer. More »
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This new Mercedes Web ad starring Lara Stone and directed by Alex Prager raises a number of questions. Why are all Stone's facial expressions in the vein of "Ouch! I have, or am afraid of getting, something in my eye"? Why does it make being picked up by a tornado look like a gentle ride in a hot-air balloon? Why didn't a stylist clean the dirt kebab off her stiletto heel before she was lifted skyward? Why are the pieces of flying debris not puncturing her body at high velocity? And if the tornado is strong enough to lift her up, why can't it even budge the car? Who travels with a hatbox nowadays? Where is Lara going, and however will she get back to the automobile of which she seems so fond? [YouTube] More »
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Last night, Rosie O'Donnell appeared on Watch What Happens Live, where she was something of a lesbo-ambassador, discussing Kristy McNichol's recent decision to come out of the closet; gay celebrities she's dated (Sophie B. Hawkins); and what she thinks of the rumors that Oprah and Gayle are lezzie ("I've seen both of their nails, and frankly it's not happening"). Andy Cohen cut to a 1996 clip from Rosie's daytime talk show, in which she and Ellen—neither of whom where out at the time—were joking about being "Lebanese." this led to a conversation about how the two comedians were once part of a secret inner-circle of famous gay women back in the day. More »
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Somehow, hearing Barbara Evans scream at her troubled teenage daughter in a New England accent brings a lot of levity to an otherwise dark show. Whether she's pissed at Jenelle for going to Planet Fun again with "Keifah," pointing out the "hickeys all ovah ya friggin' neck," questioning the whereabouts of her "credit cahds," or addressing her daughter's mental state ("Ya hung ovah!"), Barb Evans is the bright spot on any given episode of Teen Mom 2. On last night's two-hour installment, she gave Jenelle some advice about her court date: "Don't lie about smokin' the weed!" More »
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This parody ad for "Fotoshop" cosmetics comes to us from filmmaker Jesse Rosten. Rosten says, "I was watching TV one sleepless night and stumbled upon an infomercial for some beauty product. The commercial showed before and after portraits, that to my eye, looked like the same photo just photoshopped. I laughed to myself. Then I made this video." The commercial isn't real, he points out, "and neither are society's standards of beauty." You should probably watch the video — there's like a Photoshop of Horrors greatest-hits in the middle — before the Adobe company's lawyers send the inevitable cease-and-desist. More »
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One theme of this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is that Kim Richards rarely shows up for things — and if she does, she's late. Usually she gives an excuse that she's "packing," but after arriving 36 hours late to a birthday party in Hawaii, her new mantra for last night's episode was, "Everything happens for a reason." The reason being that she's wasted all the time. Richards—who just left rehab yesterday after checking in in early December—has been struggling with substance abuse problems for quite a while, and reports recently surfaced that much of the footage of her from this past season ended up on the cutting room floor because she was too "out of it." Richards also missed last week's taping of the Housewives reunion. More »
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In its latest episode, Vice's Fashion Week Internationale series goes to Cambodia, where the country held its first-ever fashion week in Phnom Penh in November. Host Charlet Duboc and the Vice team go to designer runway shows, parties, boutiques that cater to the elites known as the "Khmer Riche," and meet a makeup artist who's inspired by — who else? — Madonna. But they also take an unusual step: they talk to some of Cambodia's hundreds of thousands of over-worked and under-paid garment workers. What does it mean to hold a fashion week for the wealthiest of the wealthy in a country where so much of the world's cheap clothing is made? More »
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If Kim Kardashian wanted us to learn anything about her these past few years it's that her "talent" is branding. That girl doesn't have a single eyelash out of place, so it seemed odd that on last night's episode of Kim & Kourtney Take New York she confided in her mother—on camera—that her marriage wasn't working if it wasn't part of a larger scheme that starts with filing for divorce from Wedding Day Ken and ends with total world domination. More »
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Renee's "celebration of life" party ended with murderous threats after the some of the guests started beating up one another, screaming, throwing plates, punching windows, and generally acting like animals. It all started when Drita attempted to extend an olive branch to Karen, who essentially took at and began whipping her with it. Karen's "cousin" Ramona (granddaughter of Lefty Guns) got involved—working herself into such a foaming lather that she flailed around until one of her breasts was exposed—and almost got a man named Derek Tobacco killed. Apparently, Italian-American birthday parties in Staten Island are much more dangerous than Italian-American christenings in New Jersey. More »
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While the cast of Jersey Shore was in Italy last season, The Situation revealed that Snooki had hooked up in recent months, while she was with her boyfriend Jionni. According to Sitch, Snooki's friend Ryder and his friend Unit were getting it on in a hotel room in front of them and Snooki, so overcome with horniness, just had to give Sitch a blow job right then and there. Initially, it seemed like a bullshit machination on the part of The Situation, but after seeing the way that Snooki reacted to Ryder, Unit and Jionni all being in the same room on last night's premiere, even Ronnie—who isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the tanning bed—could pick up on the fact that she was guilty. More »
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Following Toddlers & Tiaras for the past few seasons, we know that pageant moms give their kids Pixy Stix and even Red Bull to pump up their energy, but none of the little beauty queens ever seemed to really have an understanding about their forced relationship with mood altering substances—until last night's episode. Little Alana (whose mother, incidentally, is an "extreme couponer", providing a nice little cross-promotion for TLC) drinks a "special juice" that's full of caffeine and sugar to give her that competitive edge. Alana proclaims confidently, "My special juice is gonna help me win," with a joie de vivre known only to people who truly know how to party. More »
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Gearing up for a new season of Jersey Shore (premiering Thursday, January 5), Snooki appeared on The Tonight Show, where she discussed a new addition to the show, The Situation's friend The Unit, and why Vinny quit filming in the middle of the season. Apparently, Vinny was homesick for Staten Island, which Snooki says she can understand because she "wants to leave every day" because she'd rather "relax." Getting fall-down drunk all the time is really hard work, you guys! More »
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Having a child this past September has completely changed the way I watch Teen Mom. When my daughter was three weeks old and I hadn't slept more than two hours in a row in her entire lifetime, I remember walking like a zombie out to my living room at 5 AM to get something to clean up the shit smear she got all over my sheets when I tried to change her diaper and I thought, "This is the hardest fucking thing I've ever done in my life. How do idiots do this? How did Amber and Gary do this!?" More »
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When Bridalplasty first aired on E! it really just seemed like reality TV's self-parody, but evidently it was more like a crystal ball of wedding trends. Meet Linsey Ray, a woman who is sinking as much money into her cosmetic surgery as the actual cost of her wedding. In fact, she's paying so much for her tummy tuck and breast lift that she and her husband-to-be will have to forgo a honeymoon. Of her decision to go under the knife, Ray got teary telling Good Morning America, "It is the worst thing in the world to literally wear three tank tops to hold all your suction in." If that's what she believes is the worst thing in the world, then the work entailed in marriage might prove to be devastating for her. More »
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Was anyone else concerned that Taylor Armstrong got the shit beat out of her after that elaborate "You can't come into our party" scene on last night's episode? It's understandable that the rest of the Housewives didn't want to be around Russell after he threatened to sue one of them for saying—on camera—that he hits his wife and turned him away from the party, but it was a bad idea that they all spoke about the abuse so frankly in front of both Taylor and Russell, and once again, the cameras. It's not that Russell didn't deserve to be humiliated, but the humiliation no doubt pissed him off, and it was majorly fucked up that they sent Taylor home alone with her angry abuser. More »
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What do you get when you mash up the Dark Knight Rises trailer with scenes from The Lion King? Why, The Lion King Rises, of course. Joseph Campbell would love this. More »
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Last night's episode of the sometimes-funny always-racially-insensitive CBS show 2 Broke Girls involved a sub-plot about the price of tampons in the diner. While the shtick itself was kind of painful — "the man who thinks your menses should be more expenzees" — I can't think of another time I've heard the word "tampon" so often on primetime TV. More »
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Brad Goreski only spent 30 seconds of his new show It's a Brad Brad World — which premiered last night on Bravo, the same network that airs Rachel Zoe's reality show — discussing the falling out with his old boss, but went into a little more detail on The Wendy Williams show this morning, saying he never received a thank you note after sending Zoe a Hermes tower of toys after her baby was born. More »
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If you have something glamourous planned for New Year's Eve, you're going to need to look the part. And if you don't, what better night to sit around your house wearing nothing but silver eye shadow? We asked the amazing and legendary Manila Luzon of RuPaul's Drag Race to share her makeup secrets with us — seriously, who knows how to paint a face better than Manila? Sickening flawlessness! (And as you may recall, Manila showed up to the Drag Race finale party looking like a true queen.) More »
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Today on The View, Mario Cantone and Joey McIntyre sang a straight man/gay man version of "Baby It's Cold Outside," except they changed the words to "Buddy, it's cold outside" and it was the worst thing ever. NKOTBWTFBBQ. More »
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This scene from a short '80s film (that once appeared on MTV!) highlights the frustrations of a young girl at the computer lab. She, apparently, is what some bully's Dad calls a "techno-dunce." Obviously this leads to the classroom teacher bringing the boy to the principals office; when she shuts the door behind her, and the kids launch into what's possibly the most ridiculous musical number ever portrayed in film. I'm not sure how the theatrics helped to teach the young lady how to get over her fear of computers — or even use them at all — but I suppose the collective bullying by a classroom of peers through songs is enough to get anything accomplished. More »
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As a board-certified black woman, I am just going to go ahead and say I think Billy Sorells' "Shit Black Girls Say" is funny. Better acting than in "Shit Girls Say," for one. And both "duh-lete" and "it is so hot in here" are in my repertoire. I have not yet had the good fortune to say, "pack your PlayStation and get out," but maybe someday! More »
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From the people who brought you the world's most passive-aggressive shopgirl comes this foray into the high-stakes social interaction known as taking that dude you've kinda been seeing to a W-E-D-D-I-N-G. "Weddings can be a lot to handle," says the dude. "They really make you think about what's important." Oh dear. Warning: it gets mean. Funny mean. If this were real life it would not really be funny at all. More »
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On last night's episode of Toddlers & Tiaras, we met Kelly, whose 23-month-old daughter Natalie was competing in some random pageant inside of a drab hotel room (seriously, the venues always look like sad sets from an Eastern Block film). Natalie screamed and cried while she was being dressed, screamed and cried while she was having her hair done, and generally seemed rather spoiled. But it was clear that bad behavior ran in the family: Kelly threw a tantrum when her child was crowned "Princess" in her division. "Princess means that you're a loser," Kelly declared. (Does Disney know about this?) This particular pageant had announced that they were awarding Princess titles in addition to Supreme titles — meaning that just because you're crowned Princess doesn't mean you won't be Ultimate Queen Grand Wizard Royal Nacho Supreme Burrito or whatever. However! Kelly wasn't listening when the announcement was made. Hence the drama queen scene. The lesson she is teaching her daughter is that if you don't get what you want, you should curse and scream and throw things, which is almost certainly the best possible way to raise a responsible, generous, caring citizen of Earth. Anyway! In the end, Natalie did indeed win Novice Chalupa Supreme Queen, and Kelly got the giant crown she wanted. More »
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Last night on Rock Center, Chelsea Clinton filed her first report as a full-fledged journalist. The daughter of President Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton played it safe: No bizarre crime; no far-flung warn-torn countries. Instead, Chelsea went to her home state of Arkansas and profiled Annette Dove, a woman from Pine Bluff, who runs a program for the city's poorest children. (There's just a small snippet of her report in the clip above; if you want to watch the full ten-minute segment, check out the video below.) More »
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Apparently the toy elf that goes with the book The Elf On The Shelf is "all the rage" this Christmas, especially since CBS aired an animated special in November. But as far as we know, the elf does not carry a meat cleaver and brutally hack people to death. And what's with the candy cane blow job? Leave it to the folks at Next Media Animation to turn a sweet family story about striking fear into your children into a horrid, bloody tale. Nightmare before Christmas, indeed. More »
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Perfume-haver, Fleshbot award winner, actor, James Bond comic relief, and delightfully incurable Scot Alan Cumming just Tweeted a link to this 1992 Lee jeans commercial. On his blog, Cumming explains why he thinks he was cast — the director, Paul Weiland, went to see Cumming in a play, noticed he was driving a "beaten up Citroen 2CV," and took pity. "I think he felt sorry for this starving artist and so put me in several of his commercials over the next few years. Bless him!" And bless you, Alan Cumming, for being you. More »
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Why you gotta be a tease? More »
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All of your worst retail experiences at snobby boutiques are rolled into one and mined for maximum comedic value in this video by comedians Alexandra Fiber and Danielle Gibson. I defy anyone to get through it without cringing, and then laughing, and then cringing, and then entering a cringe-laugh-cringe-laugh comedy death spiral. I got to, "Yeah, we don't have a website?" before I totally, totally lost it. More »
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She loathes low-hangers, finds wrinklies revolting, scorns the scrotum. She hates balls, okay? As she puts it: "I hate balls." More »
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Joanna Lumley, Jennifer Saunders, Jane Horrocks, and Julia Sawalha are back! Absolutely Fabulous filmed new episodes for a BBC holiday special, to mark the show's 20th anniversary. While it's a little too soon to break out the Bolli-Stoli based on this teaser alone, darling, it sure does look promising! The new series is in addition to the reported AbFab movie. More »
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On last night's season finale of Sister Wives, Robyn, the newest wife, gave birth to a baby boy, Solomon. Meri, who has been married to Kody the longest, but only has one child, Mariah, was extremely excited about the arrival of a new baby — she bought the unborn kid clothes and insisted that she be called, even in the middle of the night, if Robyn went into labor. Meri has spoken about her fertility issues on the show, and she noted that while she was happy about a new baby, it would be different than if it were her own child. Robyn did go into labor in the middle of the night, and had a home birth without any epidural, because, she explained, having a baby is "what God designed a woman's body to do." After she gave birth, she asked for some alone time with Meri. "I want to get you while you're good and emotional," Robyn said. And then she asked a huge question: "I want to know if you want me to be your surrogate." Cliffhanger! More »
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On last night's episode of All-American Muslim, we spent some time with Samira, who is struggling to conceive a child. She visited her imam — the leader of her mosque — to talk about IVF, but he had bad news, saying that if she used her husband's sperm, it would be okay, but using some other man's sperm to get pregnant was forbidden by God. (Samira and her husband both have fertility issues.) Samira decided that in order to be blessed with a child, she needed to try and please God — by wearing a hijab, which she hasn't worn since 9/11. She stopped wearing a headscarf after 9/11, she says, because "there are still people who view Muslims and view Islam as something that's scary." Samira still worries about going on vacation or being "in the middle of nowhere," and having people "freak out" because she is wearing a hijab. More »
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Here is a video that really delivers on its promise to demonstrate 25 ways to tie a scarf. Perfect for fall. How many can you do? I think I'm going to try the braid, if I ever leave my house. More »
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Today's Dr. Nancy Snyderman: "That uterus can't have any spring in it anymore." More »
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