Jezebel: Chuck Norris

Russell Brand Arrested For Pushing Photographer

Hortense Smith — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 10:30:00 EDT

Russell Brand was arrested and charged with simple battery yesterday for pushing a paparazzo who allegedly attempted to take an upskirt picture of Brand's fiance, Katy Perry.

Melanie Griffith Is Back In Rehab; Michael Jackson's Death Ruled A Homicide

Margaret Hartmann — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:00:00 EDT

Melanie Griffith's rep confirmed that she has checked into a rehab facility saying, "This is part of a routine plan that was designed between her and her doctors years ago." But sources say husband Antonio Banderas demanded she get sober.

Britney Admits Her Marriage Was A Bad Idea

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 09:00:00 EST

In her new documentary, in addition to all the stuff about Groundhog Day, Britney Spears also talks about Kevin Federline: "I think I married for the wrong reasons. Instead of following my heart and doing something that made me really happy, I just did it for the idea of [marriage and] everything." Knowing is half the battle! [Perez Hilton, NY Daily News]
Watch promos for Britney's documentary. In one, she says, "I… look back and I think, I'm a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?" [Perez Hilton]
Someone else says of Valkyrie: "The film just isn’t a thriller at all. It’s a bunch of white guys in Nazi uniforms." And yes, Tom has an American accent. [MSNBC]
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson: on the rocks. Last night in London, LL danced with her ex, Calum Best, whom Moe used to call Calum Worst. Anyways, Sam was pissed and stormed off in a huff. Lindsay was seen with tears in her eyes. Sniff. [The Sun]

Kissing Sean Penn: "Dry"

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 09:00:00 EST

Sean Penn: Lousy gay lover! Diego Luna was asked about kissing Sean for Milk and said, "It was...dry." He added: "I guess he was thinking about Franco." But costar James Franco claims kissing Sean was "fine." Not hot, steamy, fun. Fine. [E!]
Britney's youngest son, Jayden, has been released from the hospital. He was rushed to the emergency room on Sunday is because he had an allergic reaction to something he ate. The 2-year-old had hives, was itchy and irritable. The family is "just not sure" what triggered the reaction. [Page Six, TMZ]
Madonna had a dinner party at her apartment and invited her non-Kabbalah friends, so they could meet her "friend" Alex Rodriguez. [Mirror]
Madonna let Guy see his sons! There's a picture of Rocco and David at the airport, hugging Guy. Apparently Madonna has a list of demands that Guy must meet while the kids are with him in London. It includes a ban on TV, non-organic food and clothes not sent by her. For some reason, can't you picture Guy getting the kids hopped up on sugar and Disney cartoons? [Daily Mail]
People and Us Weekly put Barack Obama on their covers, and those issues sold extremely well. America wasn't interested in Jennifer Aniston or Suri Cruise last week? Really? [MSNBC]

Loose Lips

Jessica G. — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 11:45:00 EDT

Are Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem getting hitched? A "source" says Javier's Mama told him, "What's the matter with you? She's perfect! You love her, she loves you. Get married." • New Jersey cops have arrested a pair of high school students who wrote a "hit list" containing the names of three fellow students and...Chuck Norris. The students had no weapons on them and say the list was a joke. Um, totes. • Blogger Evil Beet on teh hotness that is Patrick Stewart: "Oh, Patrick. You were probably on stage when Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. But I'd still let you put it in me. I love you." Mmmmm, yes. [Dlisted, TMZ, Evil Beet] More »

Loose Lips

Jessica G. — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:45:00 EST

The two doctors who were investigated by the Feds in Heath Ledger's accidental overdose were cleared of all charges. Agents determined that while the doctors did prescribe meds to Ledger, they did not give him the drugs that contributed to his death. • Paper magazine listed the top ten worst nude film scenes of all time, and Philip Seymour Hoffman's bare ass in BeforeThe Devil Knows You're Dead took top honors. Paper wrote: "The image of Philip's big, bare flabby ass is branded on my brain." We say: we think PSH's pale booty is adorable, thank you very much. Real men have curves! • Angie Harmon is voting for John McCain. "There are a lot more people in L.A. voting for McCain than you think," Harmon told Us. "We have an underground Republican Party!" A party including Dennis Hopper and Chuck Norris. Sounds like a really bitchin' soiree. [TMZ, Dlisted, Us] More »

John Edwards: Rohwr!

Moe — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 10:00:38 EST

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So this occasion: just how historic? That and other pressing questions, from "doesn't Britney look way cute in those pix?" to "who is Chuck Norris's hot wife and is it Anna Nicole Smith she looks cloned from?" to "which candidate do you feel most sorriest for?" to "do you feel better or worse about Evangelical voters now that they've voted for a tax-loving bleeding heart former fat kid closeted crazy person in lieu of terrible capitalist chastity belt wearing Mitt Romney?" and "is this maybe even actually good for McCain?" asked and maybe even answered by us after the jump. Also, homoconservablogger Andrew Sullivan predicts "black America" is going to wake up. Because he speaks for that monolithic entity in a much classier accent than Al Sharpton! More »

Huckabee's "Minor" Son Was Still A Major Asshole

Anna — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 11:00:00 EST