Please divine entities of Reddit, please let this be real.
Judging by the picture a Redditor posted today, it sounds like her daughter is one stone cold killer who you do NOT want to cross. User lala989 shared the hilarious (in that adorably scary way) snap, saying "My daughter's list in case anything happens to her older brother."
"Hammer everything he loves."
Lesson learned: do not fuck with lala989's daughter. Or just don't be her brother, I don't know. Actually, at first I thought the third item read "Hammer his legs," not "legos," but I'm not all that willing to find out if that's a spelling error or not.