• 20-year-old Amber Portwood rang in the new year by getting drunk with a former cellmate and two paparazzi, then hooking up with one of the guys. Meanwhile, her ex Gary Shirley is designing a daddy and daughter clothing line.

• Christina Aguilera, a woman who cannot stop releasing songs that are a metaphor for her vagina, celebrated her new found freedom by allegedly engaging in a menage a trois with Sam Ronson, America's favorite gateway lesbian.

• Oh here we go: Before he lost his shit at the Plaza and was taken to the hospital, Charlie Sheen was "naked" and "with cocaine all over his face" in a restaurant bathroom. Cute.

• Betty White is on the cover of Parade magazine, and inside, she discusses her views on gay marriage.

• Today jurors found Anna Nicole Smith's boyfriend/lawyer Howard K. Stern and Dr. Khristine Eroshevich guilty on two counts of conspiring to provide drugs to a known addict and using false names to obtain them.

• Madonna is opening Hard Candy fitness centers around the world.

• Angelina Jolie is busy shooting her film about the Bosnian war, but has taken a moment to speak out about the plot of the script she wrote.

• Investigators have reportedly concluded that Justin Bieber didn't hit a 12-year-old during a laser tag match over the weekend, but the other boy was taunting Bieber, calling him a "faggot."

• Though Heidi Klum won't be part of this year's Victoria's Secret fashion show, the event will feature Katy Perry, Akon, and Adriana Lima in a $2 million diamond, sapphire and topaz bra.

• The National Enquirer is reporting that John Travolta has been cheating on Kelly Preston for years, "And when the details emerge, he's gonna make Tiger Woods look like a boy scout."

• Chace Crawford was arrested this morning for possession of marijuana. Sources say he was in a car outside a Plano, Texas bar when cops found one unlit joint. If convicted he could be sentenced to six months in jail. [TMZ]

• Is Scarlett Johansson ditching the Hollywood life for something earthier?

• In an exclusive interview, Sandra Bullock tells People that she has filed for divorce from Jesse James and has adopted a three-and-a-half month-old boy, Louis Bardo Bullock, as a single parent.

• The inevitable Aniston perfume is, oddly, not titled Desperation and Loneliness but, instead, "Lola V" - which sounds like the name of a Hollywood baby. That she'll never have! [Life&Style]
• Celine Dion, meanwhile, presents yet another scent: "Pure Brilliance." [WWD]

• Jay-Z claimed on the Friday Night With Jonathan Ross that he's responsible for some of Beyonce's famous moves: "She's a magnificent performer. I steal routines from her. She steals from me. The 'uh-oh' dance - that was me." [DailyMail]

• Britney and her boyfriend/agent Jason Trawick went to a McDonald's drive through on Valentine's Day, not that there's anything wrong with that.

• Shocker: Angelina Jolie's dialect coach, Howard Samuelsohn, says that story in In Touch about an affair is "total bullshit." Samuelsohn tells Radar:

[New York, December 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• A photo has surfaced of Jessica Simpson out with Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins on Friday night. A source says they're "officially dating... she has fallen hard and is smitten."

• Some people were offended by the jokes Alex Borstein made about Marlee Matlin's speaking voice on Sunday's Family Guy special. She says, "It was sick. It was twisted. It was rude... and I was glad to be part of it."

• Dina Lohan is pissed that Michael Lohan keeps leaking recordings of Dina and Lindsay's phone calls to him. "The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable," she says. And:

• Nene of Real Housewives Of Atlanta has written an autobiography called Never Make The Same Mistake Twice. She gets real snippy about her "friend" Kim Zolciak, saying:

• Tilda Swinton, one of the few celebrities who can actually pull off avant-gard fashion, looks predictably stunning on the cover of Another Magazine. [Stylefrizz]

• Yes, it's fashion week, yes, there are better things to talk about, and yes, we'll get to them after the jump, but first: Toby Keith's clothing line debuted. It's worse than we thought. [TMZ]