Today, Chris Pratt, Russell Wilson, and Ciara visited Seattle Children’s Hospital, where they met “great kids and parents” who, for reasons beyond their control, will have to spend the holidays away from home. It’s a kind gesture, taking time away from the more glamorous elements of celebrity to bring a unexpected happiness to children whose lives could use a little.

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But not every celebrity hospital visitor is made equal. Below are the three celebrity visitors of Seattle Children’s Hospital on December 23, 2015, ranked:


3. Chris Pratt: If the children had seen Jurassic World or Guardians of the Galaxy, great—that’s a few seconds of conversation. But to all those who either hadn’t seen his two big hits or couldn’t recognize his classically handsome features outside of a movie role, it may have been tougher to entertain them. “Who is this guy, again?” many of the children probably thought as he roamed the hospital, flashing his smile and making jokes they didn’t always understand. “Is he my oncologist? Chris Evans? Jake Gyllenhaal? Wait, who’s Jake Gyllenhaal?” Pratt, I’m sorry to say, is clear loser of this bunch. Natural charm can only take you so far, especially if half your face is covered by a mask.

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2. Ciara: Though she’s never starred in a movie as successful as Jurassic World, Ciara’s got the voice to keep children happy. Imagine her approaching one of them and singing any song they request—perhaps even one of her own!—and causing patients and staff float in from various corners of the hospital after they’re pulled in by the sound of her voice. “Rock it, don’t stop it,” she sings ever so softly. “Everybody get on the floor, wake the party up, we about to get it on, Let me see ya’ll, 1, 2 step.” It’s music as treatment. A beautiful sight.

1. Russell Wilson: I originally had Russell as my #2, but when my coworker Kara Brown told me he visits Seattle Children’s Hospital every week, I knew I had to give him the top spot. He used to come with his wife. After they divorced, he kept coming on his own. And once he began dating Ciara, Wilson didn’t abandon the children to spend more time with his new love, he asked her to come along. The children see him as something reliable. Someone to trust. And that’s exactly what they need. Well, that, and an a cappella rendition of “1, 2 Step.”


Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.