Facebook Might Add a 'Sympathize' Button, But Why Stop There?S

Engineers at Facebook have recently developed a "Sympathize" button as an alternative to the not-always-appropriate "Like" button. "Sympathize" would become a response option specifically for status updates containing depressing content — like news of breakups, pets dying or alerts signaling that you've been listening to Maroon 5 on Spotify.

"It would be, 'five people sympathize with this,' instead of 'five people 'like' this,'" Facebook employee Dan Muriello explained at a company event last Thursday. "Which of course a lot of people were — and still are — very excited about. But we made a decision that it was not exactly the right time to launch that product. Yet."

So unfortunately, you'll have to hold off from sympathizing with your loved ones for the time being. But still, if they're working on developing a "sympathize" button, why can't they work on developing a few other buttons that users would find useful?

Like these, for example:

  • The "No one curr" button for that specific acquaintance you know from high school who won't ever stop complaining
  • The "My mind was not blown " button for Upworthy posts
  • The "I know you're not as happy as you look because I remember that time we got drunk in Mexico and you cried to me and confessed that you think your husband is actually gay" button for the friend whose life looks too perfect
  • The "I just got 8 hours of sleep and am now free to do whatever I want" button for your friends who keep posting pictures of their babies
  • The "Yeah, I used to be single and childless, too, and I remember that it actually wasn't all that great" button for your friend who won't stop bitching about parents posting pictures of their babies
  • The button that remembers to call your grandma for you because she's not actually on Facebook
  • The "I just clicked this button and my sense of isolation and loneliness went away for a few seconds, but now — oh, God — it's back and it's worse than ever" button

Those are my suggestions. Now, send me a billion dollars, Mark Zuckerberg.

Image via Shutterstock.