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I guess you could say I’m a “romantic.” I love that moment, on a second or third date, when you catch that person’s eye and hold it for a second and you know, you just know, that something amazing is about to happen between you but this moment of anticipation is so delicious that you want to savor it, and then you take a deep breath and grab two super-plus tampons and soak them in raspberry Smirnoff and shove them up each other’s butts and let that sit for a minute while you listen to Mike Posner’s revelatory track “I Took a Pill in Ibiza” and suck down some molly that you’re worried might be cut with bath salts but you don’t tell anyone, and you roll up to the club and take shots and and dance for hours and get into a screaming match with some girl who’s trying to say that you can’t have 5 people in a bathroom stall and then you get a nosebleed and nobody remembers what happened after that but you wake up with a sprained ankle and a threatening text message from someone named Vyacheslav.

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I love that, so when I read in the New York Post that a British DJ named Davie Little got so drunk in Ibiza that he accidentally spent £30,000 on a bus, I had to know him. In a Facebook post that has since gone viral, he wrote:

Still can’t believe what I did last night in Ibiza.

So I was in Ushuaia last night absolutely loving life with not a care in the world, and the night just flew over, when I left the night club I took my phone out of my pocket and realised I had bought a £30,000 grand bus.... WTF.. I actually can’t believe this is happening..

Ibiza ruins lives!!!! #fact

P.s anybody want to buy a bus off me????

Davie: please call me!