Jasmin.com (formerly LiveJasmin) (RIP) is a popular webcam site where one can go to watch people from all different nations get naked for money or smoke cigarettes for free (source: experience). In an effort to normalize the cam experience, the site has put together a list of the weirdest requests models have gotten. Have you heard of piggybacking? Well you have now!
When I first got the list, sent to my personal email account with the subject heading "Think Your Fetish Is Weird?" I was slightly annoyed because my phone was beeping at me with spam messages and I was just trying to sleep. But then I opened the email anyway, because I am a sucker like that, and was surprised that the contents didn't consist of the Levitra ads I usually get (come on, CHEAPCANADIANPHARMACY.com: It's not free, I don't want it!) but of the weirdest requests the cam girls on Jasmin have received in the past month. This is, of course, a ploy to get more people to part with their pretty coins for private shows on the site, but what goes on in those private shows is actually more interesting than you might think. Actually, way more interesting. (Teeth fetish? Right this way please!)
In the spirit of brevity and novelty, I have taken the liberty of foregoing the perennial favorites that made the shortlist and present to you only the "weirdest" and "most bizarre" requests you have ever seen. (No, I don't know why I wrote that last sentence like the dowager countess. Writing about sex brings that out in me, I guess?) But you know what? It's also heartening to see people allowing themselves to be themselves in the world of cybersex. If you have an elbow-licking fetish, let your freak flag fly! (But, like, you know you can't lick your own elbow, right?) (Did you just try it? Post a picture!)
And now, the list, compiled from a questionnaire sent to over 4,000 models:
The Piggybacker – "We had a member, who visited couples only – preferable with a slim, petite girl and a big, masculine male. Throughout the shows, his one and only request was that the girl should piggyback the boy and wander around the room until the he gets totally exhausted. The member spent a fortune on his strange request to be fulfilled."
[According to a rep for Jasmin, top models make up to 75K a month, so that's a pretty good fortune. A fortune for me is like 20 bucks. #Blessed #inthewrongbusiness] [I also went on the site and talked to JustinRyker (the first model who popped up), who said that this was possible and he had seen it happen, but it was his second week so it had not yet happened to him. And then he wanted me to enter a private show to ask more questions. He gave me a thumbs up when I said no, so that was nice.]
The Necrophiliac – "We had a member who always requested the model in question to freeze in a position for the longest possible time as if he/she passed away. The member also spent a fortune on this strange request to be fulfilled. Most likely, this was a form of a necrophilia fetish."
The Ol' Pigskin – "There is a member on the site that's actually a regular who pays the performers solely to stick their fingers up their noses and squeal like pigs. The fun ended though when he took it too far: he had asked a British couple to get a transparent plastic bag. Then, he asked the man to put the plastic bag over the head of the woman (with a breathing hole), and put his fingers up her nose to make her 'oink' like a pig."
[Uh, this is one of those times I am super happy that this is happening on cam and not in real life. This is like the beginning of every horror movie about the internet from 1998. I couldn't even sleep after Fear.com.]
The G.I. Jane(s) – "Few months ago a member asked if we could provide private shows where female models can shave their heads, stating that he will pay good money for live performances of this act."
[This movie also changed my life, so I kind of get it. Do you remember how badass Demi Moore was when she screamed "Suck my dick!"? I tried that at school and had to go to the counselor!]
The Feather Duster – "Another unusual request was from another member, for a category of lesbians on the site, touching each other with feathers between their toes/on their feet."
The Check-Up – "One member requested to inspect a performer's teeth. The reason was that he was a retired dentist who wanted to give the performer a check-up to make sure her oral health was in good condition. She passed with flying colors." [Nope.]
Here, Fido! – "One of our members only wants to chat during the private show (not unusual). During one of these, the member explained that he wants to be a dog in his next life. In fact he wanted to be the performer's dog, so he can satisfy her with his tongue all day long. He then asked that she only speak to him as if he's her dog and even had her put a water dish out for him to 'drink' out of."
Well, that's enough internet for today! My fervent hope is that this has just been as educational as it has for me. Because it's been very educational...and money-saving. Because I just cancelled my dentist's appointment.
Illustration by Sam Woolley and Tara Jacoby.