Jezebel: Broadsides

NYC Billionaire Mayor Totally Hates Babymakers

Jessica G. — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 17:00:00 EST

Another woman has accused Bloomberg L.P. of discriminating against the pregnant. Monica Prestia has joined the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission's lawsuit against the financial giant. Apparently a barren supervisor was "openly hostile" to the fertile Prestia. That sort of sounds like the fertile crescent. Now I can't stop thinking about vaginas. [NY Times]

Kate Moss: Not-So-Super Role Model To Schoolgirls

Jessica G. — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 17:00:00 EST

Is Kate Moss sending a bad message to Britain's schoolgirls? Some teachers think that England's failure to prosecute Kate for her documented cocaine use in 2005 undermined the country's anti-drug efforts. "Teenagers need to see people who have broken the law suffer the consequences,' said Pat Langham, president of the Girls' Schools Association. [Daily Mail]

Lily Allen Take Note: One In Five Britons Has Sex While Abroad

Jessica G. — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 16:30:00 EST

Everyone knows that the best part of vacation is sex with foreign strangers! According to a new study, 20% of young UK denizens have sex while abroad, and this may indicate "risky sexual behavior" in terms of using protection against STDs. [Science Daily]

Breaking: We're All Gonna Die

Jessica G. — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 16:30:00 EST

According to a new government study, a few extra pounds won't kill you! [ABC News]

Adorable Bearded Monkeys Discovered in East Africa

Jessica G. — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:00:25 EST

Cutest discovery evs?? A new population of these owl-looking motherfuckers called De Brazza's monkeys — thought to be near extinction — were found in Kenya. Look at that face! Don't you kind of want one? [National Geographic]

Dear Britney, We're Worried About Your Liver

Jessica G. — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Britney should be worried about her liver, and not just because of her coke snorting and purple drank-ing — because of her Taco Bell-laden diet. A recent study showed that mice on a high fat diet were much more susceptible to liver injury. [Science Daily]

Paris Stuck Between A Mouse and Her Crotch Rot

amparry — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:00:00 EDT

Big conundrum for Paris Hilton - continue to be against testing on animals or support research into curing (her) Chlamydia? Toughie. [Science Daily]

Men Bend It Like Their Imaginary Celebrity Girlfriends!

amparry — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 15:30:06 EDT

Workout craze pilates isn't just for rich white women like Gwyneth Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker and Jennifer Aniston anymore! It's for rich, beefy white dudes too. [LA Times]

Britney's Not Crazy. She's Just On Deadline.

amparry — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 16:10:34 EDT

A new study says that women are more stressed than men. We really don't have time to be reading and writing about studies like this because we totally have a big Powerpoint presentation to get and we are, like, about to pull our hair okay? Gawd! [Feminist.org]

Short Men More Likely To, Uh, Cruise For Little Boys

amparry — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:30:00 EDT

Short men are more likely to be pedophiles, according to a new Canadian study. Maybe they're just looking for someone their own size? Kidding. [NEWS.com.au]

Cameron "Crater Face" Diaz Feels Our Pimple Pain

amparry — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Something Cameron Diaz and that goiter on our forehead parading as a pimple have known forever: Women are more likely than men to suffer from adult acne. [Science Daily]

One Baby's Barley Water Is Another Baby's Breast Milk

amparry — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Yay, heart-warming story! The International Breast Milk Project ships breast milk, or liquid gold, to Africa, where nine-thousand bottles is enough to feed six babies for a year. Being that lil' Suri Cruise was weaned on a Hubbard-approved cocktail of barley water and corn syrup, we sure hope Katie didn't let her milk dry up and go to waste. [ABC News]

This Woman Would Like To Take Your Birth-Control And Shove It

amparry — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Bush does it again: The forty-turd president has appointed birth-control opponent Susan Orr — who thinks contraceptives encourage our "culture of death" — to head the family planning branch of the Department of Health and Human Services. [Washington Post]

Which Wide-Eyed Simpson Looks Brighter?

amparry — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:30:00 EDT

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A new study suggests that birth order does matter and that older sibs typically have a higher IQ than younger ones. This study was done on men, however. Hopefully when a similar study is done on women, the Simpson sisters won't be included and skew the results. [CNN]

Mr. Winehouse Woulda Said, "No, No, No."

amparry — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 16:00:00 EDT

Apparently, many men are still following that archaic, women-as-property tradition of asking their future-father-in-laws for "permission' to marry their girlfriends. Something tells us Amy Winehouse's partner-in-crack-addiction, Blake Fielder-Civil, did not. [Salon]

Is It Awful To Hope That Jennifer Lopez Is Expecting A Boy?

amparry — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 18:00:00 EDT

Daughters born to women with "wide, round hips" are more vulnerable to breast cancer? Jesus. Researchers hypothesize that "wide round hips reflect high levels of sex hormone production at puberty, which persist after puberty and adversely affect breast development of the daughters in early gestation." [Science Daily]

J. Lo Should Have Her Baby Shower At Red Lobster

amparry — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 15:00:08 EDT

Contrary to what will undoubtedly be tomorrow's breaking health news report, pregnant women should eat fish, despite the mercury risk. [CBSNews]

Panic-Stricken Kim Basinger's Maybe Not-So-Healthy Heart

amparry — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 17:30:00 EDT

A recent study suggests that women who suffer from panic/anxiety attacks [That would be me! -Ed.] have a higher chance of suffering a heart attack or stroke later in life. [USA Today]

If They Don't Wear Condoms, Who Says They're Gonna Pop Pills?

amparry — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 17:30:00 EDT

Sure, a birth control pill for guys may be on its way, but after watching Knocked Up again this weekend we would never actually trust the dipshit to take it. [MSNBC]
Being stressed about work increases a woman's chance of developing breast cancer, say researchers. Yeah, so does being alive. Happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month! [Fox News]
A British woman is in recovery after a car accident forced her belly stud to shoot through her "like a bullet" almost into her spine. You know, we always thought eyebrow piercings were the trashiest of all body punctures, but at least they won't kill you. [Times Online]

Every Little Girl Dreams Of Dressing Like Paris Hilton

amparry — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Shopping.com took a poll and the most popular pop-culture costume idea was a Jail-Bird Paris Hilton. Seriously, if a trick or treater comes to our door in an orange jumpsuit and a blond wig holding a ham and cheese sandwich, they will get all our candy. [SeattlePI.com]

Audrina Balks Trend, Hearts J.B.'s Belching

amparry — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 17:30:00 EDT

When it comes to choosing Mr. Right, women are more interested in a guy with good manners than good looks. Whatever, we like a hottie who can burp the alphabet. Can we get a 'true dat', Audrina? [Daily Express]

Shrinking Violets Have Shrinking Life-Spans

amparry — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:30:00 EDT

A new study indicates that women who keep quiet during marital disputes have an increased risk of dying from heart disease compared to women who speak their minds. Oh Katie, you're so doomed. [LA Times]

'Boys Don't Cry' Back In The Spotlight

amparry — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 14:30:00 EDT

The man convicted of killing Brandon Teena has recanted part of his confession and is now claiming he was the lone murderer. (Teena's story was the inspiration behind the 1999 film Boys Don't Cry, for which Hilary Swank won the Best Actress Oscar.) One thing kinda irks us about this news story: CNN insists on using his birth name "Teena Brandon" even though he lived and died as Brandon Teena. [CNN]

Size Zeros: Too Hungry, Fragile To Hump?

amparry — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Pro-ana's take note — striving to be a size zero is not only crappy for your health, but also for your sex drive. New research indicates that super-skinny women have lower libidos, not to mention fear of breaking bones during the act itself. [Daily Mail]

Age Is But A Number For Cougars And Their Prey

amparry — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Older women, younger men, can it work? CNN investigates the truly tired topic of $500K-worth-of-plastic-surgery-cougars and the men who love them. [CNN]

Will Britney Grovel for America's Forgiveness? Should She?

amparry — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 13:00:00 EDT

Rumors are flying that Britney Spears might appear on Sunday's Emmy Awards to apologize for her performance at the VMAs. WTF? What does she have to apologize for? She gave a shitty performance, she didn't go on a racist tirade or run over a crowd of schoolchildren. Britney, babe, don't let those assholes convince you to humiliate yourself even more for their ratings pleasure. Go home, take a shower, and play with your kids. [US Weekly]

Southwest Airlines Has Beef With Double-D's

amparry — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Wow, "Keith" must be working some serious overtime! Southwest Airlines gave another woman hell for wearing "revealing" clothing, just a week after a woman was nearly booted off a flight for wearing a mini-skirt. Setara Qassim was forced to wear a blanket by a flight attendant because she thought Setara's top was too low cut. Dude, is it just us, or does Southwest seriously have a problem with girls with ample breasts? [NBC6.net]

Pregnant And Smoking? You're Probably Depressed... Or Famous

amparry — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Catherine Zeta Jones is not alone! More than one in ten pregnant women smoke, reports the AP (via MSNBC), and research suggests that many of those women suffer from depression, making quitting even more difficult. A Columbia University epidemiologist, tracked more than 1,500 pregnant women, and "22 percent smoked at some point during pregnancy" with about 12 percent classified as nicotine-dependent. [MSNBC]

Old Lady Shows Others Lost In The Wilderness How It's Done

amparry — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Three cheers for 76-year old Ora Doris Anderson; the senior was thought to be dead after she went missing in the Oregonian mountains for two weeks but rescuers found her alive yesterday. Way to go, Grandma! [CNN]

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie Prove The Experts Right

amparry — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 17:07:01 EDT

Breaking News! Men go for hot women, according to a speed-dating study. Researchers found that the men in the study "tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold." However the women chose men whose attractiveness was on par with their own, because every chick knows a hotter dude will dump her in a ditch as soon as something sexier comes along. And this is how Brangelina was born. [CNN]

Emotionally Retarded Hubbies Are Nothing New

amparry — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:00:00 EDT

A new study indicates that 90% of pregnant women feel stressed during pregnancy, usually over a number of "taboo" topics that they don't feel like they can discuss publicly. Among them? Nearly two-thirds worry that their partners don't appreciate how tired they are and write off any emotional outbursts as "hormonal" — ladies, having a douchebag for a baby daddy is not a taboo topic. Perhaps Britney will take your calls! [Guardian Unlimited]

Kid-Crazy Jolie-Pitts Defy European Mathematicians

amparry — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 17:00:00 EDT

Austrian researchers have apparently quantified the age difference that results in the most kids, saying that women should find a mate who is 4 years older, while men should look for one 6 years younger. Um, somehow this math isn't making sense to us, but hey, Brad and Angie seem to have figured out a more logical equation — 11.5 year difference + foreign adoptions = one ever-expanding brood! [Reuters]

CNN Schools Us On The Concept Of Female Frenemies

amparry — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 16:00:00 EDT

CNN the news network, known for its in-depth coverage of the Paris Hilton Goes To Prison Scandal, gets all deep in their exploration of "frenemies". Listen, sometimes really shallow girls turn on their friends over things like boys, and drugs, and fame. Is that so hard to understand? [CNN]

Fat Women Don't Get Pregnant

amparry — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Apparently, the fatter women get, the harder it is for them to conceive. Funny, it used to be the more underweight a woman was, the harder it was to get pregnant. But Nicole Richie, who just weighed in at a buck o' five, sure turned that nonsense on its head! [The Guardian]

Mary Jane: More Of A Guy's Kind Of Girl

amparry — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Is smoking weed a guy thing? Charlize Theron and her homemade apple bong beg to differ! While we can think of plenty of female stoners we know personally, we're not too big on the ganj ourselves. The munchies are a brutal affront to bikini season. [The Stranger]

Heidi Fleiss Puts Hillary Clinton In Her Little Black Book

amparry — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 16:00:00 EDT

Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss and born-again goth writer Anne Rice are coming out to support Hillary Clinton for President. Heidi, who was turned away from a recent Clinton rally, says, "Any woman who's smart, how can you not be [a fan of Hillary]?" Something tells us that Rice, who has traded in writing vampire fiction for some Born Again crap, is not getting into any Hillary fundraisers either. [Las Vegas Review Journal]

This Is The Face of Plastic Surgery

amparry — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:00:58 EDT

Cosmetic surgery is being marketed as just another luxury purchase for women to add to their collection of Louis Vuitton luggage, Hermes scarfs, and Manolo Blahnik stilettos. Just look at Courtney Love — does that woman scream "chic" or what? [NY Times]

Women's Libbers: Not So Groovy, Man!

amparry — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 16:00:00 EDT

Are the women behind now-shuttered feminist radio station Green Stone Media big ol' hypocrites? Former staffers say that Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda are refusing to pay severance and wouldn't file for bankruptcy because they were too embarrassed. The bigger news is that the NY Post is still using a retro term like "women's libber". Um, what's next, "feminazi"? [NY Post]

Scary Form of Crotch Rot Makes a Comeback

amparry — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 16:40:00 EDT

The STD of yore, syphilis, is back, baby, and on the rise in New York City! This obviously has nothing to do with Zach Braff being in town all summer. [NY Times]

Your New MySpace Friend? Thinspiration!

amparry — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:30:54 EDT

Eating disorder charities are asking websites like MySpace and Facebook to have stronger rules about their content, after they found that some girls are using the sites to promote the pro-ana mentality. But where will Nicole Richie post her teeny tiny baby bump pictures? [Daily Mail]