Us Weekly confirms that the name 'Kaidence Donda West' is merely a terrifying demon created by America's collective unconscious, not a the true name of Kanye and Kim's newborn infant.
This means that it's officially time for all of us to cease our tireless attempts to find a hidden Illuminati code in the child's name. According to our research, though, it is an anagram of "A Sacked Dented Wino" and "A Decade Winked Snot," so do with that what you will.
Even more shocking — brace yourself, dear reader — is the fact that the baby's name does not even start with the letter K. This tidbit comes from an unnamed source close to the couple (a leather peplum? one of Bruce Jenner's remote controlled helicopters?). I'm sorry, little not-Kaidence, but it looks like you're going to be exiled to the "No K" table with Rob during family events.
Everyone really likes the baby a whole lot, the source also confirms.
Image via Getty.