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Just what you didn't know that your day needed: a video that combines your recommended daily allowance of your new boyfriend—The Artist's dreamy Jean Dujardin, guns, Muppets, and a hearty helping of laughter. Drop everything that isn't a baby and watch this. More »
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We don't recommend breaking up with your significant other around the holidays. Don't break up with them right before Christmas, right after Christmas, and definitely not on the actual day of Christmas. The same goes for Hannukkah, Kwanzaa, and any other holiday you may be celebrating this December — including New Year's Eve. It is, simply put, a dick move. So let's assume you're gonna be in this thing 'til January, which means you'll be half-assing things it for a bit. And in the process of faking your dedication to the relationship, you'll likely have to buy the poor soul a gift. Herewith, some ideas for what to give your unbeloved this year. More »
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Meet Thad Johnson. He's looking for his soulmate — and it might be you! In this rousing video, he details a day in his life and here are just a few of his qualities: he brushes his teeth with mouthwash, has a very-defined moustache, and has appeared on all three CSI shows — as a deceased victim. Sounds like a winner, ladies! More »
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Non-Italian non-murderer Amanda Knox is slowly but surely readjusting to free life stateside after spending nearly 4 years in Italian prison. She dressed up as a mustachioed cat burglar for Halloween. She's speaking English again. And now it looks like she's got herself an American-style boyfriend, complete with a beard worthy of a sea shanty. More »
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A woman in Houston is being charged with felony stalking after calling her ex boyfriend over 1,000 times in three months, breaking his kitchen window with a five-foot sword, and documenting her heartbreak on a rambling blog dedicated how she couldn't understand why that goddamn bastard didn't love her anymore. More »
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It's difficult to feel cherished when we know that our partners are still carrying emotional baggage from previous romantic entanglements, but it's especially difficult when that emotional baggage manifests itself in the form of actual pieces of crap that used to belong to his ex-girlfriend. And what if he refuses to throw them away? Does that mean he's still in love with her? More »
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Do you love Google? Do you dig the way Gmail suggests you CC some folks you might have forgotten in a chain of messages? How it recommends products you need to buy based on the words you've typed in an email? How it fills in your search query before you've even figured out what you're actually searching for? More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5837715&view=rss&microfeed=true Brian McFayden, who some of you may remember as that MTV guy you wanted to fuck in 1999, is being sued by an ex girlfriend who claims the TV personality was an unemployed loser who used her for her Playstation. More »
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It's not news that girls are feeling more pressure than ever to be perfect. As I've written before in my posts on the Martha Complex, this generation of teen girls is more stressed about, well, everything, than any generation of women before them.* The pressure to do well in school, the pressure to please parents and peers, and the pressure to live up to an impossible ideal of physical perfection is crushing. More »
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I stumbled upon an old blog of mine the other day, and, needless to say, like most things that happened more than 10 minutes ago, it was embarrassing, especially when I read the part about The Ideal Boyfriend. More »
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Over the weekend, it was reported that Madonna was spotted with a dancer and choreographer named Brahim Rachiki. So who is this guy? More »
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A Daily Beast gallery of "Chelsea's Exes" (that both claims to feature her "5 great flames" and showcases the rumored dalliance with Ben Affleck) has the rest of us thanking the good lord our romantic pasts aren't up for scrutiny. More »
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Watching the Oscars with an uninterested male is a special thing. Whether he simply cannot comprehend what he's watching — or just refuses to figure it out — the endgame is always the same: a soundtrack of inanity. More »
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Oh, Cosmopolitan magazine. Nothing says "healthy relationships" quite like an article dedicated to teaching women to "train" their boyfriends by applying animal training techniques, as treating them like human beings would be totally absurd, no? More »
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Since The Sun did a story on the fembot known as Aiko, they decided to flip the script and create "Wall-He," an imaginary manbot. More »
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According to a story reported yesterday by Reuters, scientists now know why there is a thin line between love and hate. Apparently in brain scans, people shown images of individuals they hated revealed a pattern of brain activity partly in the area also activated by romantic love. This is according to Semir Zeki and John Paul Romaya of University College London. But what I'd like to ask Zeki and Romaya is this: How come sometimes love can turn into hate? See, I a while back, I had this boyfriend: More »
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A new study conducted by a UK diet pill manufacturer alleges that a woman's weight fluctuates through 5 stages while she's in relationship: Going on a diet to impress their new partner (-5 pounds), becoming more comfortable (+10 pounds), preparing for a wedding dress (-8 pounds), pregnancy (+14 pounds) and finally, a loss of about 10 pounds when the kids are older and women can focus more on their health and appearance. Do you think your weight fluctuates because of your relationship, or could this just be a stupid ploy to sell diet pills? [The Telegraph] More »
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Sharing experiences of certain bodily functions are milestones in intimacy with significant others, like pooping while they're in the house, vomiting on them when you're sick, or farting in from of them. Once you can do that shit (literally), you know that you're comfortable in your relationship. But there's one final frontier of unpleasantness that means you're really close: changing your pads and tampons in front of your boyfriend. (I say "boyfriend," because I'm assuming this isn't as much of an issue in lesbian relationships.) Some guys are apparently squeamish about this sort of thing, probably the same ones who are weird about period sex. But can you really have a lasting relationship with someone if you have to hide bloody cotton from them? More »
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It's time for another installment of Pot Psychology, the advice column in which everyone's problems are solved with an "herbal" remedy. (Remember, kids: Don't do drugs. Really.) In this episode, my friend till the end, Rich, helps me dole out advice on stuff like abortion scams, diabetic drinkers, and rim jobs. Got a burning question? Send it to tips@jezebel.com with "Pot Psychology" in the subject line. (Please keep them short; they're verrrry hard to read when stoned.)
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On last night's 30 Rock Liz Lemon's smarmy ex-boyfriend, Dennis, comes back into the picture. Dennis, a beeper salesman/loser/pork-pie-hat-enthusiast, becomes a New York City hero and minor celebrity by saving a stranger from being run over by an oncoming subway car. In the clip above, Liz tries to explain to her coworker, Jenna, why she keeps getting back together with Dennis: because, although she works so hard at everything else in her life, being with Dennis is easy. Jenna responds that love isn't "easy", "It's hiding who you are at all times. It's wearing make up to bed and going downstairs to the Burger King to poop." Swoon! More »
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Sure, sex is great*, but at some point in your life, you need to prioritize. When you reach a certain age, you begin to want something...more. It's OK to not want to be alone for the rest of your life — don't let anyone tell you any different. When you're in a relationship, there is a lot of give and take, and part of that is giving, not just taking, in the bedroom. Men are a little more sensitive than they let on and it means something to a guy if he's able to make you orgasm. He feels closer to you, and it gives his an ego boost. So if he's not able to make you orgasm, and it's a problem in your relationship, a good strategy to keep him around would be to embellish a little bit. It's kinda like if your size 10 friend is wearing white slacks — you don't want to hurt her feelings, so you tell her that she does not look fat! Let's face it, women are helpless in the face of their physiology: We are programmed to nest, not climax. If you want to have a real relationship, you might have to fake some orgasms. More »
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