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This morning, I got an email about an exciting new product— temporary tattoos made specifically for my breasts! I can now, using the power of only my tits and FDA-approved adhesive, accomplish such diverse tasks as: Welcoming the troops home from war. Hailing a cab. And, most importantly, declaring myself "100% natural." Between this and the rash of shirts that read "They're real, and they're SPECTACULAR!" that has suddenly chafed the nipples of the landscape, I'd like to take this opportunity to say: enough with the breasts declaring things about themselves. Please, tell your tits to shut up. More »
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Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily recommendation of random things that we've actually spent our own money on. These are the things we buy regularly or really like, things we'd actually tell our friends about. And now we're telling you. More »
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Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily recommendation of random things that we've actually spent our own money on. These are the things we buy regularly or really like, things we'd actually tell our friends about. And now we're telling you. More »
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Why is it that practically every female superhero has her knockers hanging out of her super hero suit? It's not like there's ever been a male super hero with his frank-n-beans hanging out (with the exception of Howard Stern's Fartman, of course). This is exactly why we were so interested in this comic by Aaron Diaz, which points out how it's not only kind of insulting to always have a female superhero's breasts front and center, it's simply impractical from a superhero standpoint. More »
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As the grand finale to Nancy Grace's quickstep on Dancing With The Stars, one of Grace's "twins" wriggled itself out of that tight dress for the world to see. The whole situation was hard to watch. Video slightly NSFW. More »
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Do you have two hands and a ton of money? Then, according to a random woman from Thailand, you might be able to give yourself slightly bigger breasts. You see, Khunying Tobnom has a special technique, passed down from her grandmother, that involves slapping an area of the body repeatedly to move fat from one area to another. She claims it can be used to add up to two inches to one's bust (except in certain cases where she refuses treatment "because some breasts are too small to be enlarged"). More »
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Hey, you! You with the boobs! You've got those things covered up, right? Because a New Jersey court has ruled that you have no constitutional right to let those babies out. Moreover, you better put them away because they are inherently indecent and immoral — the judge said so. Really, you should be ashamed of yourself, what with those mammaries of yours. More »
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We know women have been protesting against the double standard of waist-up nudity for men and women. But this weekend in Asheville, North Carolina, a counterprotest told them to put their tops on. Unfortunately for the boob-covering contingent, two topless women showed up anyway, and when one went pantless too, she got arrested. Will we never be free of the flesh? More »
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Marie Kolstad is just your average, 83-year-old Californian, with one small exception: her cans. Yes, in her old age, Kolstad recently underwent breast augmentation surgery — without any medical complications. More »
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It happened on GMA while she was singing "Where My Girls At?" Stay tuned for her follow-up single, "Oh, There They Are, Falling Out Of My Top." More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5828114&view=rss&microfeed=true The lingerie company Panache spent three years studying the "battle of the bounce." Their new product, out in October, reduces bounce by 83%. Most important — and this isn't mentioned in the piece at the link — it doesn't appear to cause uniboob. More »
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Jessica Alba says being a mother has helped her discover her sexuality. "I was quite shy with it [my sexuality]. It wasn't something I embraced until I had my daughter. I saw how incredible and amazing it is to be a woman and to be able to create a life," she tells Allure. "There's a reason why certain areas of the body are desirable — because it all leads to reproduction. There's a science behind it all. It's not just to sell whatever you're selling on a billboard or a magazine or a movie." And! She might wear a bikini in a movie, but she won't go nude: "At least I'm still covered. I'm wearing as much as a bathing suit. It's not like I'm naked. I'm not terribly comfortable with being in a bikini, but covering up my genitals is different than not covering up my genitals, at the end of the day. I do see a difference in that, to put it really frankly." [Showbiz Spy, Scoop] More »
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A group of men have put together an extensive infographic — culling from statistics and polls that have appeared in a number of publications like The New York Times, Glamour, and Guinness World records — called "Everything You Need to Know About Boobs." Interestingly (or perhaps, unsurprisingly) there's no mention of mammary glands being used as a food source for infants. Maybe someone wasn't breastfed as a child? More »
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The folks at JF Ptak Science Books dug up a few images from U.S. patent reports on brassieres. These designs, created between 1929 and 1930, show how women struggled to support, shape and reduce the bustline. These days, we can sometimes feel self-conscious if our bra or bra straps are showing; manufacturers offer "T-shirt" bras for an smooth look under clothes. But the inventions below — often teetering between medical brace, corset and scaffolding — seem not only highly uncomfortable, but impossible to conceal. Curse your underwire bra all you want — at least you don't have tiny dowels projecting from your girdle and supporting tiny claw-shaped shelves for each breast. More »
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The linkbaiting headline "Lindsay Lohan vs. Gravity: Is Actress Jeopardizing Comeback With Bra-Free Lifestyle?" has an actual story attached. You see, Lindsay is "no stranger to self destruction," and is "doing a number on her breasts" by "refusing to wear a bra." Guys, this is real, fair and balanced news. More »
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This morning, we got word of an app that performs visual breast augmentation. So naturally I decided to try it out. More »
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While shopping around for crap I'll have to buy to prepare for the birth of my baby, I've been researching breast pumps. In doing so, I've learned of all the varied activities a new mom can do if she uses a hands-free breast pump. I realize that for many mothers, breast-pumping is a necessity, but will you really be rolling calls and sending out TPS reports when you have containers suctioned to your tits? And will you find delight in this sort of multitasking? If so, here are all the awesome things you can do while milking yourself. More »
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An editor at the Telegraph has drawn criticism for a post on a parliament meeting that focused on an MPs cleavage. But she's not sorry at all. More »
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The world is full of delightful things, among them the strange gizmos created for breasts. Odd bras, peculiar pasties, ghastly gadgets. Here, we've gathered 14 of the weirdest. More »
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Kate Hudson, who is pregnant, is not enjoying her giant bazongas. She says: "I hate it. I'm usually an A cup and I'm getting close to a D cup. Big breasts are fun for certain things but not others. I love fashion, and having big breasts is not ideal for certain looks. They are way more fun when you are not wearing your clothes. Then, they are a blast!" Just FYI, Katiekins, although underwires can be painful and big boobs are back-breakingly heavy, plenty of ladies whose cups runneth over manage to look fashionable. [The Sun] More »
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Oh, puberty! The agony and the ecstasy! After we shared our alternately hilarious and harrowing tales about blossoming and growing breast buds, you chimed in. Even the commenters who said they "had no memories" of getting boobs managed to reveal intense emotions about their breasts, proving what a complicated, sensitive subject the mammary glands can be. Though many, many people shared their personal stories, there were some that stood out. These are the best. More »
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For many young women, the realization that you're growing breasts is fraught with mixed emotions, including, terror, sadness, shame, anxiety, confusion and excitement. Misty watercolor memories all over the place! More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5782246&view=rss&microfeed=true Dr. Ted Eisenberg is the world's most prolific boob job surgeon. He is also a champion knife-thrower: "My work spills into my hobby, and my hobby spills into my work. I bring that work focus to my knife-throwing." This… [Gawker] More »
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A Sugar Land, Texas engineer-cum-plastic surgeon is "reinventing the female breast." So, does this mean he's making them hollow so that we can put stuff in them, making purses a thing of the past? Is he arming them with a noxious chemical that sprays from our nipples when we're accosted by perverts on the subway? Making them detachable so that we can wear sundresses without looking like Pamela Anderson or go running topless during the summer without getting arrested? No! They're exactly the same, except he's making them perkier and prettier. Worst reinvention ever? More »
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Ladies, do you want to know what a man notices first when he chooses to bless you with his gaze? It's your hair — at least according to the scientists at Pantene. More »
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Alex Leo notices that Fox News is rather lenient about its chyron placement when it interferes with the cleavage that's a core part of its business plan More »
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Did you think ice cream and bras were totally unrelated? You were so wrong! More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5744111&view=rss&microfeed=true A British woman still breastfeeds her six-year-old son. Don't freak out! It's not like she's doing it in a Dunkin' Donuts or anything! More »
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I've wondered if giving a wildly offensive and inappropriate present would be an effective way to distance myself from a relationship. Now that someone's decided to make latch hook kits from 70's porn, I guess I'll find out. More »
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Would you trade hip, butt or belly fat for somewhat larger breasts—if safe and "natural" feeling? The discovery of stem cells in fat tissue could make this more than hypothetical, and implications go beyond the beauty myth. More »
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Since yesterday's gross stories were a big hit, we're offering up some more. A few also-rans, if you will. Disgusting stuff ahead! More »
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"Women hit on me. My husband thinks it's so odd that so many women hit on me," Christina Hendricks says in the November issue of Bazaar. More »
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In what is perhaps a strange homage to Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Cosmopolitanis currently running a feature on their website titled "50 Great Things To Do With Your Breasts," and guess what? Most of them revolve around dudes. Sexxxay! More »
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Ukrainian activists Femen strike again! Their bare-breasted message in the Kiev metro was directed at "the rush hour perverts that like to trespass up our skirts and undo their pants." More »
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In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, the legends are dominating our TV sets. Liza Minnelli laughs at her encephalitis! Barbara Walters eats a feather boa! Elaine Stritch yells at a studio audience! Aretha Franklin scratches her butt! More »
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Viewer complaints apparently sparked Sesame Street's decision to pull Katy Perry's appearance with Elmo. But we don't see what the big deal is. More »
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• Katy Perry's music video with Elmo has been pulled and will not air on Sesame Street after all.

More »
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So, I don't know. What to do here? Do I show boobs? Do I share boobs sent to me via email? Do I ask rhetorical questions until I get an answer? Is this a trigger alert? More »
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Big boobs, the fashion mags tell us, are "in." Thanks. For plenty of us, they're in vogue 24/7, 365...and dressing around breasts? Not so easy. Herewith, we get to the heart of the matter! More »
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Bra shopping can be difficult no matter what your size. But if you're small-breasted, there's a unique problem: everybody assumes you want padding. More »
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