Sales of Barbie dolls are down 12% as parents ditch Barbie for more realistic, "full-figured" dolls—possibly due to the modern movement toward not hating yourself. Success! The only problem is, the most popular alternatives to Barbie are either extremely expensive gingham extortion rackets (American Girls) or literally exactly the same as Barbie only dead (Monster High). So what's a parent to do? Eh, I mean, it appears that almost anything—even bizarrely proportioned goth corpses—is better for little girls' body image than Barbie.
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