Beyoncé Solves Unflattering Photo Problem by Banning Photogs

As you may have heard, Beyoncé absolutely loathed a bunch of photos from her Super Bowl performance. We know this because her publicist attempted to eradicate six pictures from The Entire Internet, as if such a thing were possible. This time around, with the Mrs. Carter tour, Queen Bey has found a way to ensure no unflattering snaps are posted: She’s banning photographers altogether.

Of course, when you try to ban some thing from The Entire Internet, you draw a lot of attention to it. The unflattering photos were amusing — seeing the oh-so-perfect star looking decidedly imperfect — but the incident probably would have blown over rather quickly if B. and her publicist had ignored the shots. By banning the images, Team Beyoncé insured that jokes would be made, memes would be created, and now, when you Google “Beyoncé ugly face,” there are over 18 million results.

This time around, pre-approved photos like the ones at the top of this post — in which Beyoncé looks beautiful and angelic in white and/or goddess-like in a coral gown — were “officially” released by Parkwood Entertainment, the company Beyoncé founded in 2008. The photo credit reads “Photo by Frank Micelotta/Invision for Parkwood Entertainment/AP Images,” meaning that although news outlets are downloading the images from news agency AP, the photographer was hired by Parkwood, and, we can assume, given explicit instructions about what kind of performance photos are acceptable to Bey.

As Noam Galai writes for FStoppers, the problem isn’t really solved, however:

Beyoncé banned all professional photographers from her shows, hoping this way no unflattering photos will make it to mainstream media.

But we all know how media works – they will do anything possible to get images that other publications don’t have. If they cant send a photographer to give them original photos, the next best thing they can do is buy photos from fans in the front rows in the arena (cameras were not allowed, but no one can take away phones). It’s the next best thing for them, and a huge nightmare for Beyoncé and her publicist.

Just like her self-directed and completely unrevealing documentary, this move once again proves just how much of a control freak Mrs. Carter can be — just how protective and private and guarded she really is.

But if you’re a die-hard fan interested in photographs, fret not: Beyoncé is releasing her own book of high-quality, carefully posed images.