This firm but patient dad dispenses the best parenting wisdom this side of Dr. Spock to his crying child, upset because he presumably just got in trouble.

Yes, it's true. You cannot hit people because you want pancakes. You can't hit them because you want waffles either. You can't hit them if you want Eggs Benedict. Or a Denver omelet. You can't punch someone because you want bacon. No, bacon is not an exception to the rule. Stop it. Breakfast foods are not reasons to punch our friends, family, co-workers or random strangers.

However, the entire Taco Bell breakfast menu is another story.