In today’s edition of Famous Dudes Proving Why It’s So Traumatic For Women to Report Abuse By Saying Dumb Shit, we have actor Benicio Del Toro running his mouth about why he thinks Amber Heard is lying. Not because he has any proof of Johnny’s innocence—no, of course he doesn’t—but because he saw them at dinner once and they looked pretty chill.
After describing Depp (with whom he starred in Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas) as “a nice guy, very caring, very smart,” Del Toro told the New York Daily News:
“What I know, there’s a lot of trouble from the girl that sounds a little manipulative. It sounds a little bit like there’s something really twisted about that girl ... but I don’t know the specifics.”
“It seems the fact that his mom passed away and she filed for divorce two days later and then she wants money and she’s saying she got hit, it’s almost like, wait, I saw them not too long ago. Maybe it was January, a dinner for the Oscars or something like that. He was there with her and they were fine.”
The girl sounds manipulative. It sounds like the girl is twisted. I don’t know the specifics. She wants money. They were fine when I saw them.
Oh, your friend didn’t seem like a violent man on the set of your shitty movie? A woman wasn’t sobbing at dinner, so she couldn’t possibly have been a victim of abuse? Next time you want to share your thoughts on women and domestic violence, tell them to your Oscar.
Bobby Brown claims he fucked a ghost. I don’t really have much more to say beyond that. Bobby Brown claims he fucked a ghost.
Here’s an excerpt from his upcoming memoir:
“I sensed that a lot of evil shit had gone down in that house while Thevis lived there. To this day I believe that house was haunted. … We would often see white women walk down the hallway. … One memorable night, one of the ghosts descended from the ceiling and had sex with me. After you stop laughing, I need you to hear what I’m saying because I’m not making this up. And let me add this: This was before I ever touched any drug besides weed and alcohol.”
He and Kesha should start a club.