I know Handbook For Nannies Fired From Their Jobs Due To Alleged Affairs With Daddies doesn’t exist, but Christine Ouzounian should consider writing it. She’s appeared on the covers of tabloids for weeks, nearly every American [who follows celebrity gossip] knows her name, she recently acquired a new Lexus, and we’ve never even heard her voice.

But that might change soon, because Ouzounian wants to write HFNFFTJDTAAWD’s fourth chapter: Your First Dose of Reality.

Reports Page Six:

The word in LA is that Christine is looking for an agent and wants a TV deal, on something like ‘The Bachelorette’ or ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ She knows she most likely can’t go back to nannying — who in LA would hire her now to take care of their kids? So she’s going to use the spotlight to build a showbiz career.

Everyone grab your crystals and start visualizing Christine Ouzounian as next year’s Bachelorette.

[Page Six]


Ben Affleck celebrated his 43rd birthday with Jennifer Garner and the kids at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, but sources say they didn’t appear to be having a great time. “Neither of them looked too happy,” a witness told People. “They didn’t even look at each other. They were talking to the kids, but they didn’t talk or even look in each other’s direction...They seemed like strangers – awkward strangers.” Their awkwardness could have been due to any number of things, from the muggy Orlando weather to the fact that their former nanny may soon be a reality TV star.

[People]


A new book called The Queen’s Speech: An Intimate Portrait Of The Queen In Her Own Words will be released soon, and The Daily Mail published some of QE II’s ~alleged~ quotes. The book claims that immediately after being informed of Diana’s car crash, Queen Elizabeth said, “Someone must have greased the brakes.”

[Celebitchy]


  • Jason Derulo was kicked off a plane, fired his travel agent. [TMZ]
  • Every porn studio wants a Tyga and Kylie sex tape. [TMZ]
  • Sarah Hyland almost fell. [Us Weekly]
  • Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks Ayers are over. [People]
  • Britney Spears might be leaving Las Vegas. [Billboard]
  • The teens think Chloe Lukasiak is a better dancer than Maddie Ziegler. [IBT]
  • A Josh Peck prank is never epic. [E!]
  • Awww! Here’s the first photo of [the back of] Rachel Bilson’s baby[’s head]! [E!]

Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.