People have strange traditions when it comes to Thanksgiving. As someone who does not celebrate—and it’s Boston Market all the way when I do—I’ve always found the cranberry sauce out of a can thing kind of weird. But not as weird as Jello with mayonnaise, which is, apparently a real thing.
This fun food abomination comes to us via The Washington Post, which claims that what you’re about to dry heave over is a delicious treat that has been on at least one person’s menu for years. It’s supposed to “plop satisfyingly” and features the following ingredients:
- 3 ounces (1 box, small) lemon-flavored Jell-O
- 2 cups cold, fresh, unsweetened apple cider
- Pinch pinch kosher salt
- 1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
- 2 to 3 ribs celery
- 1 to 2 red apples
- Mayonnaise, for serving (optional)
First question: Why. Second question: I wonder what lemon jello and mayonnaise taste like together. Can you replace the mayo with Miracle Whip to make this recipe a true challenge for anyone with taste buds and a heart?
The recipe’s proven to be controversial, with many people suggesting that the combination of jello and mayonnaise (not to mention celery, which is one of the world’s worst vegetables) is the reason why none of us can have nice things, like Furbies which actually care about our feelings or “A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime.”
The bad news is that this feels like it would taste awful. The good news is that it seems to take enough work that everyone at your dinner table will have to at least try it and pretend to like it. And considering that we’ve got at least another two hours before dinner is ready to be served, you can still probably make it just to see the looks on your family’s faces as they’re trying to gulp it the fuck down, the mayo coating their esophagus in an unforgiving slime that’s been compared to as the devil’s cum by at least three people I know! This is exactly what racist aunt Sally deserves!
Have you ever seen a more disgusting Thanksgiving meal?
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