Just last week I was shouting "WHAT THE HELL IS DUCK DYNASTY?" And now it looks like I'll never really know (nor will I want to), because every sensible person in the universe is furious at Duck Dynasty for a lot of reasons.
Following the horrible anti-gay and racist comments made by "Duck Dynasty patriarch" (HOW IS THAT A REAL PHRASE THAT WE ARE JUST CASUALLY THROWING AROUND) Phil Robertson and his subsequent suspension from the show, the Internet is still all aflutter with rage. One cannot throw a stick without hitting some new, not-good Duck Dynasty Development. First: TMZ is claiming that A&E was well aware of Robertson's hateful bigotry — he's been preaching it for years, as evidenced by a 2010 video of him calling gay people "shameful, perverse, heartless, faithless, senseless God haters... destined for the burning pits of hell." So the network's facade of surprise and outrage is completely artificial, it seems. [TMZ]
And the Duck Dynasty family has released a statement in support of Duck Patriarch:
"While some of Phil's unfiltered comments to the reporter were coarse, his beliefs are grounded in the teachings of the Bible. Phil is a Godly man who follows what the Bible says are the greatest commandments: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart' and 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Phil would never incite or encourage hate."
LOLOL OK. The statement also implies that the show may not continue: "We cannot imagine the show going forward without our patriarch at the helm." What is a helm without a patriarch? It is like a sky with no stars. [CNN]
So, have we asked everyone why they're mad about Duck Dynasty? What about the loud and irrelevant people? Oh, yes, here they are weighing in: PETA has called for the show's cancellation. In a statement, the organization wrote, "PETA wants A&E to do more than suspend one of the characters on Duck Dynasty for damning gays. We call on the channel to challenge the entire crew of duck slayers to ignore Sarah Palin's self-serving slap on the back for spewing hate speech and deny that they are as anti-gay as they are anti-animal." [Inside TV]
And, finally, a very poorly-timed Hollywood Reporter cover celebrates the Duck Dynasty family as "The Rule Breakers" of 2013. Common decency isn't so much a rule as a guideline, but okay, sure. Broke that to little bits, you did! [E!]
Robin Wright is reportedly engaged to Ben Foster, whom she met on the set of the 2011 drama Rampart. Congratulations to them! [US Weekly]
The X Factor ran a terribly insensitive video meant to comically indicate that Demi Lovato was "drinking annoying juice" throughout the season. Introducing the clip, Mario Lopez said, "Simon [Cowell] has been complaining all season that Demi's annoying. Maybe it's got a little something to do with what she's been drinking at the judges' desk!" And then we are treated to a montage of Demi drinking a mysterious substance and then making rude and silly remarks! Ha!!!!
Only, Demi Lovato has been very public about her addiction issues, and she's now sober — so running a video about how ~*constantly drinking "annoying juice" makes her crazy*~ is really unacceptable. As the clip ends Lovato clearly mouths, "That was fucked up." Yep. [Gossip Cop]
- One Direction won't stop ripping off bands that my dad listens to. [Billboard]
- FINALLY, Justin Bieber's grandparents have broken their decades-long silence on his pants. "He should pick up his pants," says his grandmother. "I like it, I like it," rebutted his grandfather. [E!]
- The first "love scene" shots from the Fifty Shades of Grey set are upon us. The actors appear to be kind of slow dancing by some Citi Bikes. Much BDSM. [E!]
- LOOK AT JOHN MAYER'S FUCKING COAT. [People]
- The entire Internet was abuzz with rumors that Macklemore made an ornate gingerbread house, but he didn't. He just found the picture online. Sorry if your Christmas is ruined. [HuffPo]
- Masterchef Junior, the best show on all of television, has been renewed for a second season! THANK GODDESS. [Fox]
- You guys, this Ed Sheeran character is everywhere, and I am beginning to get suspicious. I think he is pulling all the strings. (He's the one who set Courteney Cox up with the guy from Snow Patrol). [E!]
- Keanu Reeves is filming a movie in Williamsburg. DM me Keanu, I can show you some totally cute and authentic brunch spots (the Dunkin Donuts next to the subway stop). [NY Daily News]
- Kim Kardashian and Kanye West took photos with some fans at a pizza restaurant in Chicago. Are they Team Deep Dish? I THINK THEY ARE TEAM DEEP DISH. [Hello]
- Katy Perry joked that her and John Mayer's absolutely repulsive "Who[m] You Love" video is more authentic than "Bound 2." Not true. "Bound 2" is the most authentic thing on this planet. [Just Jared]