Ugh, classic sheep. No respect for the dead, AS USUAL. A flock of woolly ne'er-do-wells in the small Berkshire village of Grazeley (pUn InTeNdEd BcUz SHEEP!!) have been running wild in the town churchyard, feasting wantonly on flowers and keepsakes left by mourners.
The delinquent sheep were turned loose in the yard by well-meaning villagers looking for an economical, environmentally friendly, and hands-off method of keeping the grass trimmed. Little did they realize that a graveyard is basically a Las Vegas buffet for sheep, and YOUR NANA'S HYDRANGEAS ARE THEIR ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SHRIMP.
The wayward ewes have also been knocking over headstones willy-nilly (because "fuck the ma-a-a-a-aaaaan!"), and—let's be honest—almost certainly pooping all over your dearly departed loved ones.
Via the Telegraph:
The ten ewes were introduced to Holy Trinity Church in the aptly-named village of Grazeley, Berkshire, because the parochial council said it could no longer afford anyone to mow the lawn.
But Nicola Millard, whose grandparents are buried there, said: "The condition is awful - basically they've ruined all the flowers and bent forward one of the headstones, and there is a lot of debris over the graves."
She added. "There is a little turnstile I go in rather than the main gates and I arrived to see four of them stood on my nan's grave. I was so heartbroken."
Vic Jerrom, who has several generations of ancestors buried there, described the damage as 'very disrespectful' to those laid to rest.
"It's a mess, the sheep are grazing on the graves and of course there is sheep droppings everywhere. It's despicable" he said.
When reached for comment, one of the sheep flicked its cigarette at me and told me I wasn't its real mom.
Image via Getty.