Assange's OKCupid Profile Sounds Like Assange Sex Musings (Updated)

It’s not clear if the florid, self-aggrandizing OKCupid profile with Julian Assange’s photo is legit. But it does sound an awful lot like the florid, self-aggrandizing entries, including about women and sex, in Assange’s diaries around the same time! Updated.

Currently making the rounds is a profile of one Harry Harrison, last accessed in 2006. It describes a “Passionate, and often pig headed activist intellectual” who “seeks siren for love affair, children and occasional criminal conspiracy.” He also likes “women from countries that have sustained political turmoil. Western culture seems to forge women that are valueless and inane. OK. Not only women!” If this is not Julian Assange, this is one of the endless backpackers with a Cool Gringo complex one encounters in one of those countries with “sustained political turmoil.” We’re sure those women are grateful!

He also says he has “asian teen girl stalkers” and that “I could adapt to anything except the loss of female company and carbon.” (The full screenshots are below.)

Fewer people might have been inclined to prank Assange in 2006 than now. And if it’s not real, it’s written by an imitator who has captured Assange’s style rather admirably. Maybe you missed the partial publication of Assange’s diaries, also from 2006? If so, or if you’d just like to review the deep thoughts of a man whose “conversational brutality” makes women “swoon,” by his own account, here are some highlights. Emphases added.

Sat 24 Jun 2006 : Canberra
I ended up at a backpackers filled with some of the 900 Christians from the Australian University Christian Convergence. Most were young women and I turned, somewhat disgracefully, into a sort of Chesterton’s Hardy, the village atheist, brooding and blaspheming over the village idiot, while they, for their part, tried to convert me with the rise and fall their bosoms.

One of the devout was the lovely daughter of a New Castle minister. At some point in my unintended wooing of her, she looked up, fluttered her eyelids and said ‘Oh, you know so much! I hardly know anything!’. ‘That is why you believe in God,” I explained. This conversational brutality took her breath away and she swooned. I was exactly what she secretly longed for; a man willing to openly disagree with her father. All along she had needed a man to devote herself to. All along she had failed to find a man worthy of being called a man, failed to find a man who would not bow to gods, so she had chosen a god unworthy of being called a god, but who would not bow to a man.

Tue 18 Jul 2006 : Runaway consumerism explains the Fermi Paradox.
What do guitars, lollies, lipstick, tamagotchis, padded bras, pornography, movies, opium, Ever Quest, and 98% of any Australian newspaper in common? They are all technologies of emmotional manipulation which distort our perceptions for the benefit of their masters. Language centres in our neocortex may claim to “know” they are fake, but these words only feebly suppress those primitive areas of the brain which give rise to our feelings, colour our memories and command our attention.

Mon 17 Jul 2006 : Female mathematics
Mathematics is a systemization of communicable human thought created by brain architectures that have male-type spacial abilities and extremised by the extremes within that group. Extreme female brain architectures would create a different sort of mathematics. It won’t be created by the females currently in mathematics because they need a male type brain to thrive in the existing mathematical world.

Perhaps a good cognitive neuroscientist will do it for them.

Thu 29 Jun 2006 : Krill to the baleen of the feminine

I’ve always found women caught in a thunderstorm appealing. Perhaps it is a male universal, for without advertising this proclivity a lovely girl I knew, but not well, on discovering within herself lascivious thoughts about me and noticing raindrops outside her windows, stood for a moment fully clothed in her shower before letting the wind and rain buffet her body as she made her tremulous approach to my door and of course I could not turn her away.

But then, just when one might suspect that men are krill to the baleen of female romantic manipulation, I found myself loving a girl who was a coffee addict. I would make a watery paste of finely ground coffee and surreptitiously smear this around my neck and shoulders before seducing her so she would associate my body with her dopaminergic cravings. But every association relates two objects both ways. She started drinking more and more coffee. Sometimes I looked at her cups of liquid arabicia with envious eyes for if there were four cups then somehow, I was one of them, or a quarter of everyone one of them…

Update: OKCupid’s CEO tells Forbes, “Yep, we believe it to be legitimate; it would have been quite an elaborate hoax otherwise.”