As every woman knows, there are some things you can't just come out and say to your significant other.

Extremely helpful and not at all insulting or trolly website AskMen.com has pointed out that telling your girlfriend she's getting fat is one of those things. Usually, whenever I read an AskMen.com article, my brain involuntarily plays a fart sound, which reminded me that just as sometimes ladies get fat, men also get smelly, and just as "I'm a shallow dick who cares more about how you look than how you feel" is an inappropriate thing for a man to say to his girlfriend, "Your ass is a volcano of toxic stench" is something you can't just say to your boyfriend. Here are ten key ways to tell him that he smells to high heaven, without actually coming right out and saying it.

Remember: in relationships, open, honest communication is key, which is why when something is important to you, you should always bring it up via a series of passive aggressive insults swaddled in conversational evasiveness rather than a grown up talk.

Click through for the best relationship advice in the history of stock photo slide shows!