Human being Tinsley Mortimer is alive and well. Reports of her death were greatly exaggerated.

“Tinsley died?!” you scream. Well, not technically, but basically: she had apparently taken some time away from New York City. She’d settled in Palm Beach, surviving on a steady diet of vodka sodas and Manolo Blahniks, two things you can get practically anywhere now, thanks to our modern global world.

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“Tinsley Mortimer makes her return to Manhattan,” Page Six declared, though they were, I’m sorry to say, a little behind the times: Tinsley was first reborn in the fall. In a profile by Jessica Pressler for New York magazine, she said that she came back to life and had the urge to do “things normal New Yorkers do.”

“I had thought, Well, maybe I’ll go to Brooklyn, because it’s young and cool. But I didn’t want to feel lonely or scared or like a fish out of water,” she said, explaining why she’s settled on the Upper East Side, again.

This is roughly Tinsley’s third life; her previous attempt was in 2012, and it included a book called Southern Charm which, yes, I have read. How was her time away? In a new profile for DuJour, she discusses her new passion, which “involves a line of tabletop accessories”:

Indeed, Mortimer’s return to New York coincided with the launch of her collection of home goods—including palm tree–printed highball glasses, plates emblazoned with koi and acrylic-and-faux-leather trays—that aim to land her as a tastemaker akin to Martha Stewart or Tory Burch.

She also offers a few more details about her time away to New York:

Mortimer says she’d do it all again. “I have no regrets,” she declares before offering that, “in Newport or Palm Beach, with the country-club set, it’s a bit tricky to navigate. One has to walk a fine line.”

Coming back is hard, but Tinsley is alive.

Image of Tinsley Mortimer, alive, in December, via Larry Marano/Getty for Paper


Contact the author at dries@jezebel.com.