Jezebel: Apple

Gwyneth Paltrow Says She Takes Baths in the Tub With Her Kids

Cassie Murdoch — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:00:00 EST

Just when it seems that Gwyneth Paltrow has said all of the ridiculous, pretentious things that could ever be said, she does another magazine interview and the fountain of delight fills up yet again. Lucky for us, she's given us myriad morsels of insight in this month's Harper's Bazaar. Foremost among them, she takes baths with Apple and Moses, her school-aged children, and she doesn't like Botox. More »

You Will Never Be Able to Cuddle With the Steve Jobs Doll

Cassie Murdoch — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 10:20:00 EST

After introducing a much-anticipated 12-inch Steve Jobs doll, the company that designed it has said it will not to sell the figurine after all. Bummer. It looked awesome and even had the black turtleneck and could hold onto a tiny apple! The company, In Icons, had originally said that they'd bring the doll to market no matter what Apple did to try to stop them, but they've now relented and issued this statement about the decision: More »

Siri Goes Rogue, Tells A 12-Year-Old Boy To 'Shut The Fuck Up'

Cassie Murdoch — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 15:45:00 EST

British tween Charlie Le Quesne and his mom were shopping at a store in England when he picked up an iPhone 4S on display and innocently asked Siri, "How many people are there in the world?" The 12-year-old, expecting the phone's automated assistant to give him a number, got a real shock when instead Siri answered, "Shut the fuck up, you ugly twat." Whoa, girl, watch your mouth!!! Charlie's mother, Kim, couldn't believe what she'd heard, so they asked the same question, thinking it must have been an error. But crabby Siri fired back with the very same expletive-laden rant. More »

Apple Says Siri Isn't Intentionally Anti-Abortion

Margaret Hartmann — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 20:50:00 EST

Earlier this week, it was widely reported that Siri won't locate abortion clinics. It's a troubling thought that the magical device you carry in your pocket may not share your views on women's reproductive rights. However, today an Apple spokeswoman told the New York Times that Siri isn't necessarily harboring conservative views: More »

Worth It: The Essential App For Getting Your Shit Together

Margaret Hartmann — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 13:00:00 EDT

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our daily recommendation of random things that we've actually spent our own money on. These are the things we buy regularly or really like, things we'd actually tell our friends about. And now we're telling you. More »

iPhone's Siri Forced To Field Awkward Questions

Margaret Hartmann — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 23:56:00 EDT

Did you or a loved one spend the entire weekend making increasingly offensive comments to your phone? Now you can share the fruits of your iPhone 4S obsession with others on the Tumblr Shit iSay to Siri. Apparently Siri knows who the walrus is and can commiserate when you need to poop, but the tiny lady trapped in your phone is still having trouble coming up with tactful replies to users' romantic advances. More »

Woman Locates Her Stolen iPad, Police Do Nothing

Margaret Hartmann — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 22:37:00 EDT

If you've set up the location services on your iPhone or iPad thinking you'll be able to apprehend anyone who swipes your device, you may be in for a surprise. Sure, you'll be able to track the criminal, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to do anything about it. More »

New iPhone App Allows You To Hire Prostitutes With Ease

Lane Moore — Sat, 14 May 2011 14:40:00 EDT

This powerful, professional-looking stock photo gentleman looks like he has a secret. But what could it be? More »

Happy Hump Day!

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 17:24:00 EST

[Image via Fuck Yeah Cats And Food.]

New Anti-Sexting App Doomed To Failure

Anna North — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 12:56:00 EDT

Kids today sure do love texting! But a new app could force them to keep it clean — or just get creative. More »

Prove That Your Kid Is The Most Spoiled On The Street With A Woogie

Katy Kelleher — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 11:48:00 EDT

Today in shit you don't need: a six-armed plush case for your kid's iPad. It's ugly as heck and named "the Woogie." Whatever happened to buying them wooden blocks? More »

Oprah's Favorite iPad Apps

Jessica Coen — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 17:37:00 EDT

Oprah is a big iPad fangirl. Such a fangirl, in fact, that she bought one iPad for each of her magazine's staffers. She's also a big iPad applications buyer. Herewith, her favorite apps. Coming soon: Oprah's App Club? [Gizmodo] More »

Courtney Love Auditions For Grey Gardens

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 12:11:00 EDT

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[Paris, August 25: Cats not pictured. Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

Apple Okay With Tiny Cartoon Penis After All

Sadie Stein — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 11:40:00 EDT

Following outcry against Apple's banningof a comic-book Ulysses, the company "said they gave it a second look and realized that it wasn't obscene or anything like that." [NYT] More »

Ulysses Banned Because Of Tiny Cartoon Penis

Sadie Stein — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 17:40:00 EDT

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Once again, Joyce's Ulysses has been banned in America: this time by Apple. They're refusing to carry a comic-book version of the classic for iPad because one panel shows stately, plump Buck Mulligan in the buff. [Big Money via BoingBoing] More »

iPad-Clutching Toddlers Will Determine World's Fate (Really)

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 13:00:00 EDT

The iPad is a hit with toddlers — even four-year-old Suri Cruise was spotted playing with one. Believe it or not, kids' innate ability to use iPads will affect all of us. More »

Marketing The iPad To Ladies: Pretty Pictures And Louis Vuitton

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 03 May 2010 19:30:00 EDT

Avi and Michal Schick claim that male users in ads read the Times; while female users are "organizing picture albums or reading Nicholas Sparks' The Last Song." And duh, news is for boys! Ladies love luxury. [Double X, Luxist] More »

Beth Ditto Designs Again; Faith Hill Wants A Clothing Line

Jenna Sauers — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:30:00 EDT

Beth Ditto is designing another Evans collection. Last time the singer held fast to the 80s, with sometimes mixed results, but the range that will hit stores in September counts everything from Victoriana to "Noughties body-con" as an influence. [Telegraph]

100-Year-Old Woman Composes Limerick On iPad

Margaret Hartmann — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 09:40:00 EDT

Apple's marketers have suggested that the iPad is great for the elderly (in addition to anyone fascinated by "magical" devices). Now here's the evidence: Video of 100-year-old Virginia Campbell learning to use the iPad, her first computer. [Buzzfeed] More »

iPad For Stoners: The PiePad

Jessica Coen — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 12:20:00 EDT

The iPad isn't for everyone, you know. Some of us are hungry for something more. More »

Apple Customer Support's iPad Advice: "Have A Margarita"

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 15:20:00 EDT

Reports claim that the iPad's silly name won't hurt sales. But you know what will hurt the iPad? The same stuff that killed every other gadget you've had. In an effort to avoid this, we sought professional advice. More »

March Madness: The Cake Vs. Pie Tournament

Jessica Coen — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 16:00:00 EDT

It's time. We've fought for far too long. The Pie vs. Cake War must come to an end! But a winner can't simply be chosen; there must be a battle, and you, dear reader, must decide the champion. More »

iMaxi (With Wings): Protection The iPad Deserves

Margaret Hartmann — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:20:00 EST

Want to embarrass the Apple geek in your life? Check out HipHandmaids $30 maxi pad-shaped iPad case on Etsy. The iMaxi can even be "customized to fit your active lifestyle" with red thread on the pad. [Etsy via The Frisky] More »

A Defense Of Sexist iPhone Apps

LatoyaPeterson — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:40:00 EST

In the wake of a controversial decision to pull sexually themed applications from the iTunes store, Apple is toying with adding a new "explicit" category to its current offerings. While my inner feminist cheers, my inner technophile is concerned. More »

Cosmo's 10 Naughtiest iPad Sex Tips

Margaret Hartmann — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:20:00 EST

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Apple's iPad is supposed to save print media, and Cosmo is a magazine that's just begging to be presented in a vibrating format. Here are some sex tips you can expect to see in the digital pages of the magazine: More »

Michelle Wears Mizrahi & McQueen; Juicy Founders Sour On Fashions

Jenna Sauers — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:30:00 EST

Isaac Mizrahi video-blogged his excitement over Michelle Obama's decision to wear one of his dresses to the SOTU. "She was saying, 'not let, nor right,' it was kind of like a bipartisan dress," said the designer. [IsaacMizrahyNY]

Will Period Jokes Hurt The iPad?

Irin Carmon — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:00:00 EST

One day of period jokes later, the snickering over Apple's new iPad is hard to avoid. Does it matter? More »

That Time Of The Month: The Best Period-Related iPad Jokes

LatoyaPeterson — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 15:20:00 EST

Apple's iPad announcement earlier this afternoon prompted a score of WTFing across the internet, prompting many to ask, "Are there any women on Apple's marketing team?" Answer: Apparently not. (Period.) More »

Period Pieces

Anna Holmes — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 13:20:00 EST

It's official: Apple's new tablet is called... the iPad. Latoya, who is monitoring dozens of tech sites' liveblogs, says "this is begging for period jokes...and no one is making any." [Gizmodo] More »

Out Of Fashion: On Being Immune To The Apple Tablet Frenzy

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 12:30:00 EST

In less than an hour, Apple will release details of its rumored new tablet. Our brother sites, Gizmodo and Kotaku, are freaking out. They wonder if we are as well. Asks one editor: "What's the fashion angle?" Uh, well: More »

Zoe Kravitz For Vera; Mary-Kate & Ashley Close Beauty Line

Jenna Sauers — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:30:00 EST

Zoe Kravitz, negotiating the transition from Famous Daughter to Celebrity, has committed the necessary act of being photographed by Bruce Weber for a perfume campaign. Vera Wang was the lucky partner in fame-chasing. Shall we expect a reality show? [People]

"Snow White's Revenge"

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:30:00 EDT

With this vinyl decal created by a very crafty Etsy artist, Mac users can rewrite the classic fairy-tale — for a very different kind of happily ever after. Update: Here's another! [Buzzfeed via Etsy] More »

Model Confronts Online Enemy; Is Simon Doonan Redecorating The White House?

Jenna Sauers — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:30:00 EDT

Model Liskula Cohen has confronted the woman revealed as the author of a hate-blog directed against her. Cohen told the woman that she forgave her, but the blogger did not apologize — probably because a defamation suit is pending. [P6]

Are Apple Products Secretly Girly?

Katy Kelleher — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 12:20:00 EDT

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Last week, Forbes writer Bridget Brennen asked: Is Apple the world's most discreetly feminine brand? We wonder: When did user-friendly become code for female-friendly? More »

"Modern" Baby Names Actually Pretty Old

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 09:40:00 EDT

Brooklyn, the name of the Victoria Beckham's 10-year-old son, was first used in 1870; Gwyneth should know there was an Apple born in 1853; and some especially cruel 19th-century parents chose the name Peaches for their son. [Daily Express] More »

Estée Lauder Face Kept Beautiful With Eucerin; Two Supermodels Reportedly Sperminated

TatianaTheAnonymousModel — Tue, 26 May 2009 11:40:00 EDT

Hilary Rhoda: Estée Lauder spokesmodel with a thing for drugstore makeup. A woman after our own hearts. [Daily Beast]
In other news from model-land, Adriana Lima might be pregnant. [NYDN]
Also said to be expecting: Gisele Bundchen. [NYDN]
And sources say Kate Moss could be birthing a "novel." [Sun]

Yay for women on the web: As today's NY...

Maria — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:20:00 EDT

Yay for women on the web: As today's NY Times reports, Meg Frost, the creator of Cute Overload, has recently released a page-a-day desk calendar with pictures from the website and the calendar rose to the upper ranks of Amazon's best-sellers list. The site is also raking in a chunk of change from ad sales, which range from $500 a week for a standard ad to $2,000 a week for a premium ad. Ultimately, the site is so successful because it's a warm antidote to all of the nastiness on the internet; who can deny the pleasures of noming on the cute ear nubs on a kitteh? [NY Times, Image via Cute Overload] More »

"Thin Is The New Pink" — And Other Things The MacBook Air Might Mean

Moe — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 16:00:00 EST

"Thin is the new pink for laptops" proclaims the Wall Street Journal in response to yesterday's MacWorld unveiling of the HUGEST BIGGEST MOST EXCITING SUPERSLIM SKINNIEST $1,799 laptop ever. The MacBook Air, in case you're not a regular reader of the big brother blog that pays all our salaries, is thin. Very thin. Joan Didion thin. Juila Stiles circa 10 Things I Hate About You thin. So thin it can fit in a manila envelope because that's obviously something you were wishing your laptop could do. Teen Vogue model thin. Am I sounding like one of those Yoplait commercials? Because that's sort of what I was going for. But what does this mean? Who the fuck cares? More »

iGag Over Designer iPhone Cases

Jennifer — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:13:52 EDT

Status-obsessed women can now drop more cash in the name of staying 'stylish' by accessorizing their iPhones with Louis Vuitton carrying cases, being sold exclusively at the NYC Vuitton 5th Avenue flagship starting Monday. The cases range from $225 for monogrammed canvas to $1120 for alligator skin. Which, yes, means a case can cost you close to, if not twice as much, as your stupid, new, possibly outdated electronic toy. More »

The iPhone Line. Is Stupid.

Moe — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 19:08:29 EDT

Camping out for consumer goods is sort of a boy thing. Boys are always lining up for sneakers and XBox games, but you don't see women camp out at Target and H&M days before the next hotly-anticipated high-low JV. Do you? [Uh, yes. -Ed.] Well whatever. The iPhone is supposed to be insanely coveted among women — divorced women especially (and nonsensically) — who are apparently not put off by the fact that Steve Jobs has yet to use his gigantic bankroll to buy his way onto 1/20 of a Vanity Fair cover. We sent Intern Maria to find out what sort of women were about to become the envy of every boy we know. Answer: The sort of women who wear shirts that say: "Do I Make You Look Fat?" (To be fair, she's 16. Of course she makes you look fat.) After the jump, Intern Maria's experiences with middle-aged moms, stoners, reps for Heeb magazine and, of course, pasty white dudes. More »