Adam Levine, the human version of a soiled bathing suit, appeared on David Letterman's show last night to discuss something we're all apparently dying to know about—the origin of Maroon 5's name.

"It was my idea never to tell anybody," said Levine. "The origin of the name is so bad. It's such a horrendous story that we decided that shrouding it in mystery will make it a better story than the actual story."

Okay, so now I'm intrigued (because I'm fascinated by dumb things, as you all are well aware of). Where could they possibly have gotten the name "Maroon 5" from that is so dumb they never ever want to let people know?

I am not a Maroon 5 fan. [Stealthily closes iTunes window that was playing "Give a Little More" on repeat for the past 20 minutes.] So I don't really know much about the band or their origins and I will admit I had no idea their name was a secret or that people actually gave a shit about finding out where they got their name. But for those who are curious, I did find one possible explanation:

The leading rumor about how Maroon Five name is the some of the band members attended Five Towns College in Long Island, though they did not graduate there. The school's "mascot" is The Sounds, and the colors are Maroon and white. They got "5″ from the name of the school, and "Maroon" from the school's colors.

That doesn't really sound dumb or embarrassing, though. This is where I am going to stop writing about Maroon 5's name and never, ever speak of it again.