Anxious Man: Democratic Women 'Scaring Off Good Male Candidates'

Does USA Today have editors, or is it just whoever wanders in?

I’m only asking because an op-ed was published today titled: “Do Dems Have a Women Problem? Column” [sic] followed by the dek: “Powerful figures like Clinton and Pelosi may be scaring off good male candidates,” followed by a poorly punctuated hailstorm of sixth grade misogyny.

Penned by the venerable Ross K. Baker—Rutgers professor, member of the USA Today Board of Contributors, and author of a very important book that boasts both timely relevance and fun ’80s vibes, Is Bipartisanship Dead?: A Report From The Senate—the blustery column laments the sad fact that “two women have assumed dominant positions and have scared off serious male challengers” to the Democratic nomination.

“Take Hillary Clinton and Rep. Nancy Pelosi. Both are towering and intimidating figures, who have sucked the oxygen out of the spheres they dominate.”

Men, ready your inhalers. There are two (2) women trying to snatch your rightful air supply. No—wait—three.

“The one candidate who generates any enthusiasm at all as a challenger to Clinton, is another woman, Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who has repeatedly disavowed any interest in running.”

Three women. Well, we all know what that means. The Chimera licks her lips, anticipating a feast.

“The very elevation of these extraordinary women has placed male Democrats in the position of being unwilling to challenge them. The mantra “it’s her turn” has broad appeal among Democrats.”

Male politicians, you see, are just too deferential in regard to their female counterpoints—and for this sin, we are suffering the loss of many “qualified male candidates” who will “probably not step forward in 2016.”

“In the Senate there are potential hopefuls who could win the hearts of the very people who consider Clinton too middle-of-the-road: Sens. Sheldon Whitehouse of Rhode Island, Sherrod Brown of Ohio, and Jeff Merkley of Oregon. There are well-regarded governors such as Jack Markell of Delaware and Andrew Cuomo of New York or former Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick. None of them has given the slightest hint that they might consider a run.”

Andrew Cuomo, a left-of-center alternative to “middle-of-the-road” Hillary Clinton? Nah. Baker also lists former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley and Vermont Sen. Bernard Sanders as “the only two prospective challengers” to an oppressive ovarian hegemony; perhaps overlooking this USA Today item, the first result when one searches “Joe Biden President 2016.”

To back off from going toe-to-toe with a powerful woman is, in the final analysis, a form of patronizing that ill-becomes a party that has stood so steadfastly for women.

Listen, let’s not pander to women by supporting them. That will only feed her. Soon, her dripping, razor-sharp jaw(s) will swell to monstrous proportions, swallowing the entire Rutgers political science department to fuel her eventual march on Washington.