Anthony Weiner's Latest Sorry Stunt

Yesterday was Anthony Weiner’s first day of unemployment, and the former congressman was back in the spotlight as he stepped out in his Queens, NY neighborhood and was snapped by a photographer. The pictures, which are so obviously staged and posed, show Weiner in jeans and a dress shirt — sleeves rolled up — buying flowers. A simple task, but a calculated attempt at manipulating and controlling his public image.

First of all: Appearing in public, in his neighborhood, Weiner wordlessly makes the statement that he is not hiding at home, laying low, wearing pajamas and watching his stories. He’s still out on the streets, where his constituents can see him. The rolled-up sleeves say, “I may not be in the office, but I’ve still got work to do.” He’s got his BlackBerry clipped to his belt, just in case Nancy Pelosi or Chuck Schumer feel like reaching out. But the flowers are the real story.

The Daily reports that Weiner was buying carnations in red, white and blue. Actually, the blue blooms appear to be Gerbera daisies. The orange flowers look like High and Magic bicolor roses. The white flowers are, indeed, carnations. All together, these bouquets are what most ladies would call a serious flower fail. Not good.

It’s impossible to know whether the flowers were actually for Weiner’s pregnant wife, Huma Abedin. Maybe they were just supposed to be decorative, for the apartment. Maybe they’re gifts for friends or associates. But let’s get real: They’re symbols. Weiner is hellbent on proving he’s actually a decent guy; we’re supposed to think, “Awww, he’s buying flowers,” and find some shred of sympathy in our hearts. Here’s a newsflash: If you’ve sent pictures of your dick to dozens of random chicks on the internet behind your wife’s back, showing up with shitty corner store flowers is like putting a band-aid on a tumor. Doesn’t hurt. Doesn’t help.